Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] She was so into it. Like, the conversation was good.
[00:00:04] She said, this sounds amazing. Just let me think about it. And you felt it. You know, that little spark, kind of that little hope that, like, oh, my gosh, this thing is going to happen.
[00:00:18] And then nothing.
[00:00:21] Like, she got kidnapped by aliens and you did the thing that you always do.
[00:00:28] You left her alone. Because reaching out again feels, like, gross and desperate and a little bit pushy. And so you told yourself, you know what? If she's interested, she'll come back.
[00:00:43] She won't. Now, it's not why you think. It's not because she wasn't interested, but because you were both taught the same wrong thing about what happens next in this conversation.
[00:00:54] And here's what your upline leaders taught you about follow up. Probably because it's all anyone taught them. They taught you follow up until they buy or tell you that they're going to issue a restraining order.
[00:01:09] Right? They told you, check in, circle back, just keep following up. And then send a little smiley emoji again and again and again until it works. Or you get tired of feeling like a telemarketer. And that's exactly when it starts to make your stomach turn. And listen, her body feels it, too. Every just checking in with nothing behind it tells her primal brain the same thing.
[00:01:36] This person wants something from me. The second she feels chased, she's going to pull away even further.
[00:01:44] The problem was never that you are too much. It's that you were handed this very weird way of following up, and then you blamed yourself when it felt awful. And then you decided, I'm just not going to do this anymore. If you're new here, I'm Genevieve. And on this show, we prove that effort was never the problem. Last week, we talked about where you aim your efforts, and this week, it's the part that everyone quits just before the payoff. So here's the shift that changes everything, y'. All. Real follow up is just continuing to be useful to a person who actually isn't ready to buy yet.
[00:02:25] And, like, that's the whole thing. And buy useful, by the way.
[00:02:29] I mean, like, stay connected to her pain in an effort to help her with her transformation.
[00:02:40] Now, I want you to think about how you treat an actual friend.
[00:02:45] You don't circle back with a friend.
[00:02:48] You send her the thing that made you think of her. Listen, my friend Stephanie and I have a meme thing going, and it's absolutely our love language. I think of her when I see certain things, and so I send them to her and I check in with her, like, how was your week? How are things going? I remember what she told me. She remembers what I told her. There's no agenda. It's just literally a theme of caring that shows up again and again. And when following up is done, right, it's more about a stewardship than it is about getting them to do something. Because when your follow up carries like a theme, like, I'm a resource, here's something that I genuinely thought would help you. And it's not about closing, right? Her brain stops saying, danger, danger, Will Robinson every time she sees your text message or your dm, and she stops treating you like a threat. And she starts trusting you. And trust is the thing the rational brain needs before it ever says yes. Now, here's the part that changes how followup feels. Like in your own body, you're actually not following up to get them to do something.
[00:04:06] You're following up to find out if she's someone you actually want to partner with, work with, or have as a client.
[00:04:18] Because you're looking for a specific kind of woman, someone with fire in her already, someone who is actually ready, doesn't have to be convinced. Someone who's built something before and knows what it takes. So, like, she's here for it, someone willing to do the work.
[00:04:40] And you guys followup is where you find that out.
[00:04:46] Like, in every message, there is a quiet question that you should be asking, is she disqualifying herself? Is it her?
[00:04:56] Or am I about to spend six months trying to prop someone up and carry them into somewhere they were never going to carry themselves? The woman that you want doesn't need to be chased.
[00:05:12] Chasing is beneath who she already is. So stop convincing and start really looking at what's going on. Because the desperation disappears the moment you say, stop convincing. And the right ones, the strong women, the one that show up and do the things you want without having to be told or reminded 600 times, they're gonna lean in. Because strong people can feel the difference between someone who's begging and someone who's in a position of evaluating and choosing. And listen, when someone goes quiet, that's not always a loss.
[00:05:55] Sometimes it's the filter actually working. It just literally showed you, hello, not dependable, or hello, this isn't urgent, or hello, they lack consistency and follow up.
[00:06:10] So before you pour yourself into the wrong person, take the follow up as a little bit of a test.
[00:06:20] And here's a simple way to do it that never feels like chasing. Every time you reach out, bring something of Value to the conversation.
[00:06:30] A piece of value that literally like stands on its own, even if she never buys a dang thing from you. So it's not really a check in after she gets the product, it's a connection about the start of her transformation. Give him or her something unexpected within the very first day just because. Think about how can I provide the most ultimate form of support after she gets her products or after she agrees to be part of this business.
[00:07:01] Like even before they ever hit a first snag. And then message people right before they're about to run low, but not to like sell.
[00:07:14] Like it's not helpful to tell someone their subscription is about to run.
[00:07:20] Think about how can I actually help her. Listen, you all know already where the trip up points are.
[00:07:27] This is valuable information to you and you should be helping her through those points.
[00:07:35] It shouldn't be news to her that you're going to be connecting with her.
[00:07:52] And listen, if you can't send something, including a message that stands on its own and isn't a hidden message or it doesn't have a hidden agenda, to quote unquote, get the them to do something, then don't do it. Because that's the test. Like if you would be embarrassed to send it with absolutely no agenda behind it, then don't send it. If you'd happily send it to a friend, then do it. Now. Let's bring this to life.
[00:08:26] Someone, let's say, inquired about, I don't know, digestion issues and she told you she's bloated at the end of every day or right before she goes to bed. Or maybe she says, I don't know, I hate that nothing feels like it fits.
[00:08:44] So you had this great discussion and then like all of a sudden gone. So here's what following up as a friend, adding value might actually sound like.
[00:08:55] The day after you come back to her problem, not the product, say with me, we go back to the problem, not the product, not the next step in the process. We go back to the problem.
[00:09:10] Because if she has gone quiet, we are no longer having a two way conversation and the fire needs to be rekindled. And remember to get through the primal brain, the message has got to feel survival for now. Like I said, got to address this now.
[00:09:28] So she said she's bloated at the end of every day, like nothing fits. So you're going to recap that conversation.
[00:09:34] Been thinking about what you said. Bloated by the end of the day every day, like nothing fits. Right about four or five o' clock. That's such a frustrating way to live in your body.
[00:09:46] Is it worse after certain meals? Like, is there some food that seems to trigger it, or is it kind of all day no matter what you eat? I'm just curious about that. And after a day or two, give her something that actually helps free.
[00:10:07] Like, new product anywhere in sight.
[00:10:12] You might respond with, hey, one thing that helped me before anything changed was a big glass of water first thing before my coffee, and slowing down at meals and literally, like, chewing. I know that sounds weird, but I would eat in front of my computer and I really wasn't paying attention to how quickly I was eating. And honestly, some of the bloat eased up just from that. So try it for a few days. And now she's gotten some real value from you, and now she feels like you are helping and not trying to sell. And if she mentioned something going on in her life, mention it back. I have a client that said, just be human, right? And I'm like, yes, just be human. Reach back. Wasn't this the week of your trip? Wasn't this the week you started back at school? How did things go? How did it feel? Deal. How was that vacation?
[00:11:15] And when you started school, all the things. Did the bloating behave or did you have to fight it the whole time?
[00:11:24] Right? Nothing attached. You just remembered the conversation. And here's the thing.
[00:11:30] Three genuine touches, and the product hasn't actually even come up.
[00:11:35] Only then, if she responds and it fits, do you hand her the actual clothes. If the bloating is still a priority for you right now, we can do something about it. And I would be happy to walk you through exactly what settles your digestion down and how to keep your digestive system working better. Just say the word. And honestly, it works the exact same way when someone's building when they're thinking of building their own thing. Say she asked you how to get started, whether she could do something like this too, and then she went quiet. And they often do.
[00:12:18] You don't come back selling the opportunity or with the next steps. You come back with the thing she's really after. I've been thinking about what we talked about the other day and what you asked. The fact that you're even asking tells me that, well, you're doing more than just wishing you're actually looking. In order for me to actually send you the right info. Can I ask what's kind of pulling at you? Is it the money?
[00:12:45] Is it that you want something more for yourself, like, help me understand and in that frame of reference, you're not recruiting her, something isn't happening to her.
[00:12:57] You're just honoring the fact that she wants something of her own and, and you're letting her feel seen for the concern.
[00:13:07] You're honoring the fact that she wants something of her own and you're just trying to understand it on a deeper level. Or what if she said let me think about it and then went quiet again?
[00:13:17] I would leave next steps and decisions alone and go back to the underlying fear before I ever bring things back up around next steps. You know that time worry that you mentioned? I wanted to dig into that a little deeper. And you handle the real concern with care so that when they actually come back to the conversation, they're ready to actually open up instead of feeling like they need to defend their position. And what I want you to understand, the reason this is so important is because this is the part that actually builds a sustainable, scalable and long term business.
[00:14:04] Customers who feel supported are the ones who reordered, they're the ones who stay, and they're the ones who refer. And yes, occasionally a small percentage of them will raise their hand and want to build with you. And when you support business builders, the same happens. The ones who feel understood and supported every step along the way are the ones who stay, bring other people in and raise their hands when they say who's ready for a next step? Follow up, when done is stewardship is the entire reason people's incomes stop swinging so randomly from month to month. I'm gonna say it again.
[00:14:56] You were never bad at follow up. I know you were willing to do it. You were just handed this very weird version of follow up that felt like begging and felt really inauthentic to you.
[00:15:08] So I would say you were right to hate it. This version, however, you, you can do as yourself. So make sure you jump in here next week because next week we're going to talk about how to start a conversation with someone who's actually never heard of you or what you do without pitching, without being weird, without a pit in your stomach, and without the toxicity.
[00:15:32] If new conversations make you cringe, we are going to break it down because I don't want you to be afraid of that. Sometimes you're going to start a new conversation with a stranger. So be sure to subscribe to the show, leave a comment and follow along so you don't miss out. And if this is the way you want to build, if something about this resonates with you, choosing the right woman, selling like yourself, Listen, get on my email list.
[00:16:04] It's where I go deeper than I can hear. And you get to hear the goodies before anyone else does. So the link is in the show notes. You're not behind, I promise you. You're just aiming in the wrong thing and following up in the wrong way. I'm going to see you next week.
