Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Ooh, mama, this is gonna be a good one. We are talking about being a business owning woman.
[00:00:08] You've been working harder than ever.
[00:00:11] You feel like you've been spinning your wheels. And you know what you want?
[00:00:15] You want summer. You want a little teeny, tiny piece of summer for yourself and for your family. Listen, this is not actually unusual. This is a little known thing that we talk about or we don't talk about very much. And it's called the hustle hangover.
[00:00:36] And it's real. And I will tell you, it is something that happens when you've been hustling all year long and now you want to use the summer to heal.
[00:00:49] Anybody? Anyone? Are you picking up what I'm laying down here? Listen, I have to tell you, the thing about hustle hangover that makes me the craziest is it makes somebody feel like, oh my gosh, I'm so unmotivated. The number of people that have told me that as a coach just cracks me up. I'm like, you're not unmotivated, girl. Seriously, you're not. You're showing up for all the things you are working your business. You may not be getting the results you want.
[00:01:18] And that's how you know you're in hustle mode. When you're working harder than then you're actually experiencing results. Like, if there's an imbalance between the work and the results, chances are pretty good you are in hustle mode. And what happens about this time of the year is people are like, I have a hustle hangover. I, I need to like, check out for the summer.
[00:01:41] It's this lingering exhaustion from months, mama, months of pushing and, and proving and performing your way through entrepreneurship. It's a feeling of being simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed. I'm going to say that again.
[00:02:03] It's a feeling of being both overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. I know I felt this, I felt busy all the time, like, all the time and constantly wondering, why isn't this working? And can I tell you something? This can happen at any level of your business. It can happen when you're new.
[00:02:27] It can happen when you're making six figures, trying to get beyond six figures. It can happen when you're at, you know, halfway, like there, there's multiple parts of the business staging where you're going to feel like, overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. And we don't, we don't talk about it. And it's, I think, especially impactful for moms who are building a business online because especially during the summertime, this is the place where you feel this tug of war between momentum and, like, presence.
[00:03:09] I want my business to scale and build, but I also want to do it in a way that feels impactful. And I also want to be there for my kiddos.
[00:03:20] So I want to show up for my followers.
[00:03:24] I want to hit my goals.
[00:03:26] But, man, it's summer. I also want to make memories, and I want to be available for my family. And I want to feel this sense of flexibility that I was promised. Right?
[00:03:42] This is why supposedly I'm building, but yet I'm never there for it. And I do. I do remember that.
[00:03:50] I do. I do remember so many summers that I was like, summer's already gone. I used to cry when I would go into, like, the stores and see, like, schools stuff, because my heart was like, see? You missed it. You missed it. Like, now we're going back to school. So how fun for you. You totally missed it.
[00:04:16] And I used to cry at the end of every month.
[00:04:20] I have a one child in particular and a husband whose birthday always fell on the last days of the month.
[00:04:28] And they were literally ignored.
[00:04:31] Ignored. Why? Because I told myself, like, I'm doing this for you so that we can have this time in the future together. But the truth is, is that it creates a space where I've wired my brain and my business to always feel busy and to reject rest.
[00:04:55] Like, I didn't feel like I ever earned it.
[00:04:59] And I always felt like I was behind.
[00:05:02] Behind on content, behind on training, behind on my strategies, behind on getting back to customers, behind on everything. I. I was avoiding talking to people.
[00:05:18] And yet. Yet I will tell you, that were so few moments that I didn't have my phone in my hand. Now, when you're. When your people are littles, right, It's a little easier for them to, like, not communicate what they're feeling. But I'll tell you, when they get older, they're like, why are you always on your phone? Like, always put your phone down. And I remember so many times saying, like, well, that's just part of what mommy gets paid for. I need to be available.
[00:05:50] So there I was, checking the phone while the kids were swimming. Hello. Like, that's safe.
[00:05:57] Promising myself and them when the phone rang. Or we don't call each other anymore when there was a text. Hey, just give me a minute. I just. I just need a minute. Maybe five minutes. Maybe no more than. No more than five minutes. And yet missing all the moments, all the Moments. And I know this not just because, like, listen, like, I read it in a marketing report. I know it because I lived it.
[00:06:28] And this is kind of, you know, this is kind of how us women, we get in this place and our body right around summer says no.
[00:06:39] So the hustle hangover isn't just physical fatigue.
[00:06:43] It's a bona fide emotional crash that follows these long periods of productivity.
[00:06:51] But that productivity was fueled by fear and adrenaline and the need to prove my worth.
[00:07:02] It happens when your business becomes a performance instead of a vessel for your purpose. You know, the number one thing people.
[00:07:11] I did a survey, and I asked people, like, what are some of the things that you are the most proud of? What are some of the things that you want from your business? And rarely did money come up, like, yes, I would like to pay my bills. Yes, I would like to have more. And there's always that small group of people are like, listen, I'm going to the top. I need to go to the top. And that's okay. But most people wanted to create an impact, and they wanted to do so authentically.
[00:07:41] So when you're operating outside of what we call the vessel of your purpose, then you're going to end up with symptoms like constantly being anxious. And even if you look back on when your business might have been doing better, for those of you that have been in for a while, you might see that, like, wow, I know. I did.
[00:08:04] I was never actually able to relax without feeling guilty. As a matter of fact, I have a. I have a friend who. Whose husband is very. Was. He's retired now, a very prestigious C suite guy.
[00:08:20] And I would go over to my friend's house, and she didn't work.
[00:08:23] She didn't have to work. She had a business and she sold it, and her husband was working.
[00:08:29] And when I went over there, I remember him telling me, you know what, Ferdy? Because that's. That was my nickname. Ferdy, you don't know how to relax.
[00:08:40] Like, you legitimately do not know how to shut off. And I'm telling you, as a Recovered.
[00:08:50] As a recovering hustler, and I am still recovering, I didn't know how to relax. Like, I just recently learned how to trust my systems and how to relax, and it changes everything.
[00:09:11] The other thing that causes hustle hangover for those of us that are hustlers and also high performers is that every win feels fleeting for two reasons.
[00:09:28] One, because that wasn't the big thing that we were working for.
[00:09:34] It wasn't the big thing that we had set our sights on. And we were not going to allow ourselves to stop or feel happy or to celebrate until we hit that next big thing, which was off, like, in the distance, either months or years away.
[00:09:55] So every win felt fleeting because I was already chasing the very next thing. And I remember being told some crazy bs like, you know how salespeople are. Oh, this makes me crazy. You know, salespeople are. You pat yourself on the back while you're running to the next goal.
[00:10:19] Talk about toxic, man. I'm telling you, and I have been there with you. I have missed the family trips both physically and mentally. I must say that again. I have missed the family trips both physically and mentally. I have missed the summer family vacations.
[00:10:42] And I have strived to hit numbers and be available more than I really wanted to be present.
[00:10:52] So maybe it's different from you, for you.
[00:10:55] Maybe you're not missing the things. Maybe you're in that hotel room again while everybody's out, while you're on vacation, while you're closing your month.
[00:11:04] You know, maybe you're inside while everybody's outside.
[00:11:10] Maybe you've told your family you would make it this year to the reunion and then you canceled because you didn't have the right systems in place. And now everything just feels heavy again on your shoulder.
[00:11:23] Oh, I'm here to say it's time. It is. It is time for all of us to exhale. It is time for all of us to live in our truths. We are not incapable.
[00:11:35] We are not unmotivated.
[00:11:37] We are just exhausted from carrying a business that wasn't actually built or set up to support a real person's life, let alone a mom of children. And if you're ready for a different kind of momentum this summer, let's keep talking.
[00:11:58] So let's talk about how to use the summer. And yes, you can use your summer in a practical and strategic way.
[00:12:06] And if you've been googling things like how to grow my business without hustle or summer sales strategy for female entrepreneurs, or what to do when my business feels overwhelming, or how to stop feeling behind in business, maybe, like me, you googled work life balance for business, owning moms.
[00:12:27] What you're actually searching for isn't come up on Google. It's called recalibration, friends. It is not about reinvention. It is about recalibration.
[00:12:42] You don't need a new business.
[00:12:44] Let me say that again. You don't need a new business.
[00:12:48] Those of you that leave a current business and start a new business and listen, guilty is charged, you will just take all these crazy habits with you to your next business. So it's not about a new business model and you don't need a big 17 tab spreadsheet with more three more morning routines and Nancy's guide for X, Y and Z. You don't need any of that.
[00:13:15] What you need is to realign your business to support the actual life you're living so you're in the current life it has. Your business has to support your current life while you're building a new life and not the life that hustle culture told you to build.
[00:13:42] So let's talk about how I have recalibrated this summer and how you can too.
[00:13:50] Step number one is anchor yourself before you act. If you are a type A, guilty as charged. We don't typically stop and think about things. As a matter of fact, one of the things I've learned from working with my husband is the value.
[00:14:08] And I'm laughing because some of you are going to be like, hello.
[00:14:11] The value of actually thinking before you act.
[00:14:16] So instead of reacting from urgency all the time, like, hey, what should I post?
[00:14:22] Why didn't anybody buy from me? Why did she ghost me? Why aren't they converting?
[00:14:29] Ask this question first. Are you ready? Write this down.
[00:14:34] Am I doing this from alignment or anxiety?
[00:14:40] This is your North Star Star question.
[00:14:44] Am I doing this from alignment or am I doing it from anxiety? Because one leads to sustainable energy and impact the other. It's like a greased pole back to burnout.
[00:15:01] And you deserve to make decisions from a place of impact, from clarity, from confidence, and not a fear that you're going to fall behind or that you're never going to make it work.
[00:15:19] So step number one, anchor yourself before you act.
[00:15:25] Ask the North Star question, am I doing this from alignment or am I doing this from anxiety? Step number two, get clearer on what actually moves the needles. Mama. Some of you all you just need, like the two day intensive with me on how do I know what's actually going to move the needle? So many of you jumped into a business that you're super excited about and rightly so. Like most of us, you have no marketing experience, you have no technology experience, and you have no sales experience and you're super overwhelmed.
[00:16:04] And it's not that you're doing too little, by the way, it's that you're doing too many disconnected things without a clear through line.
[00:16:16] So you have what I call a Frankenstein approach to the business. I heard that from someone, I thought, oh my gosh, that's just a perfect.
[00:16:23] That is a perfect example. And what I mean by that is Frankenstein was built by a bunch of different parts, right?
[00:16:30] So many people are like, oh, this person said I should do that, so I'm going to do that here. And this person said I should do that, so I'm going to do that here. And this person says, this is how you do this. And so I'm going to do that. And none of those things, none of those things connect.
[00:16:45] So you don't need everything.
[00:16:48] What you need is to consistently do a few of the right things that build trust with your prospects and your customers.
[00:17:00] You need to do a few right things to generate leads every month. Say that with me. Generate leads every month.
[00:17:10] And you need to do a few right things that support converting a percentage of those leads to customers.
[00:17:22] Now, part of what creates that crazy hustle is nothing seems to work with the Frankenstein approach because there's so many different things that aren't tied together that you're just busy. And honestly, you end up being like this crazy thing that walks around looking a little like a zombie.
[00:17:44] So what if your business strategy was built on just three pillars?
[00:17:51] One, I want you to think about high trust visibility.
[00:17:56] By this, I want you to think about meaningful content.
[00:18:01] Not constant content, high trust content.
[00:18:06] What if one of your three pillars this summer was the meaningful content?
[00:18:13] Say the things.
[00:18:15] Say the things that you know your potential customer is thinking. And guess what?
[00:18:23] If you're thinking them, if you're thinking them, they're probably thinking them too. If you're a mom with littles, talk about being a mom with littles and how that feels. If you're an empty nester, talk about what your summer looks like as an empty nester. If you're trying to juggle your work and your business with your summer, talk about that. But talk about it from a place of power and worthiness and not a place of victimhood.
[00:18:52] I want you to think about cleaned, aligned offers without the convincing energy.
[00:19:00] So when you look at how you offer your product or service, ask yourself, does this look desperate? Does it look like I'm trying to convince or. Or am I trying to attract customers?
[00:19:13] Because when you work from a place of attracting customers, the right people will hear your message. But listen to me when I tell you this. You have to be willing to repel people who the message isn't for. So a common misconception is that everybody needs this phrase. Everybody needs what you have, everybody doesn't need what you have. And certainly everybody isn't Ready at the time that you hang your shingle.
[00:19:39] So you have to be okay with nope. This is a clean aligned offer and it will resonate with the right people.
[00:19:48] And then I want you to think about intentional follow up.
[00:19:53] Just intentional follow up. The kind of follow up that feels like service and it feels like impact and not pressure.
[00:20:05] Just those three things. Are you ready? I'm going to say them again.
[00:20:10] One, I want you to think about anchoring yourself before you act, asking the North Star question, am I doing this from alignment or am I doing it from anxiety?
[00:20:22] I want you to to get clear on what actually moves the needle for you and if you're not sure what that is. So spend your summer learning the right few things. The right few things that sub A, build trust, sub B, generate aligned leads and sub B, support conversions. Support conversions.
[00:20:51] I want you to think about high trust visibility.
[00:20:55] Be authentic, be super authentic, be meaningful. You know, don't post what you see everybody posting. Make sure that you tweak things through this lens. Is it meaningful or is it noise?
[00:21:12] I'm going to post meaningful content even if it means less of it.
[00:21:18] Opposed to constant content and then no convincing energy going to. We're going to ditch convincing energy and we're going to go with clean aligned offers. And last but not least, intentional follow up. The kind of follow up that feels like service and not pressure.
[00:21:42] Work on making room for the life you're supposed to be living, y'. All.
[00:21:50] I love.
[00:21:52] I love my business. I love what I do. I love sharing with you.
[00:21:58] But I love my people more. Like, I love you all, but I love my people more. And I refuse to keep building something that looks good to you guys but feels hollow or scammy in my family.
[00:22:16] This summer, focus on asking yourself, what does this feel like at the moment? Am I panicked? Am I freaked out? What does this feel like in my body, my home, or in my relationships?
[00:22:30] Because the version that costs me my family presence, that cost me my wife, how I show up as a wife or as a mom, it's really honestly and truly, it's not the version that I'm interested in scaling. And you have to be okay with saying goodbye to that.
[00:22:50] So if your calendar doesn't reflect your actual values, it's time to recalibrate. And not with shame.
[00:22:59] Oh my gosh, not with shame, but with a remarkable amount of intention, friend.
[00:23:06] You're allowed to have margin.
[00:23:09] You're allowed to go slow and meaningful.
[00:23:13] And most importantly, and this was tough for me, you're allowed to let ease into your life now. Now, hear me when I say this.
[00:23:24] Ease. That's different than nothing, right? That's different. I'm not saying you. You're not working.
[00:23:32] But you're going to work from a place of ease.
[00:23:36] And if you're still with me, God bless you.
[00:23:40] You're not behind.
[00:23:41] You, really, you're not. You're just ready for the shift.
[00:23:46] And you don't have to play catch up because you're not behind. You're not failing.
[00:23:51] You're actually in a really great place to fortify your business.
[00:23:56] Because in order to get to your next level, what you need to do is wake up to the fact that the way you were working is no longer in alignment with the woman you want to become.
[00:24:09] And that's what the shift is all about.
[00:24:15] So how can I help you? Listen, if you haven't already downloaded my freebie, how to Sell without the Spiral, check out the notes and make sure that you are absolutely getting that freebie. It is a PDF with a 50 minute training video that I walk you through what I think is a fundamentally remarkable foundational breakthrough for all of us hustlers.
[00:24:42] It'll give you aligned and grounded clarity. And from one hustler to another, let me just tell you something.
[00:24:50] The Hustle Hanger Hangover doesn't go away with a nap or a good month.
[00:24:58] It takes real intentional healing and a shift in how you see yourself, how you work, and how you value yourself.
[00:25:10] Let's make it a good summer. Let's work it. Let's recalibrate.
[00:25:15] And next up is the podcast you've been waiting for, the recalibration ritual Steps to resetting without losing momentum. All right, we'll talk to you soon. Thanks for being here.
