Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] You ever wonder why people hate selling? I mean, like, legitimately wonder why do people hate selling? Like, more than anything in the hoid world. People just do not want to be salespeople. And I think there's a common misunderstanding about sales personally. But why do people hate selling? I think this is an important question for you because one, if you're listening to this chance, pretty good. You have to sell something. I know you think you're quote unquote sharing, but the truth is that you actually are selling. And my definition of sales is that sales is the transference of inspiration, that you're not selling a thing. You are providing a bridge to a transformation. People want transformation. They don't really want products.
[00:00:49] Sorry, going to get me totally off track, but I think it's good to start here in this conversation because so, and this is one of those things, by the way, that I think you need to reset and recalibrate regularly about because it's super easy to get back into like toxic hustle and over performance mode. Hey, not that I'm talking from experience or anything, but it's true.
[00:01:13] I'm genuine former CSO of a $350 million brand as the chief sales and field development officer, in other words, my job was to teach people how to sell what we were selling. And most of them were not qualified salespeople. As a matter of fact, most of them didn't want to sell in any way, shape or form. Prior to that, I'd worked for many companies in an executive sales role, and I was also a owner of a learning and development company. So, like, when you merge those two things together, I actually can figure it out. And I believe that selling is a completely misunderstood venue, is an avenue for people to earn income, and can be a hugely rewarding one. So welcome to to my podcast, Fix this Grow fast. Because if you can fix your sales, you will indeed grow fast. Okay, so why don't people like selling?
[00:02:08] Let me just tell you first, it's not just you. I remember when I had my first sales job and somehow or another, like when you're chatty, you always end up with a sales job. I don't know. I didn't want a sales job because my perception of selling was. It was slimy, it was weird, and no thank you very much. So I want you to know that if you're not really a big fan of selling, it's not just you.
[00:02:34] Most capable and smart women despise selling, and it's not because they're bad at it.
[00:02:43] I really believe it's typically because they're taught versions of selling that feel fake, it feels forced.
[00:02:53] And if I'm being honest, is, like, downright embarrassing. And. And I'm going to go back to this notion that every single person I learned to sell from was indeed a man. Not that there's anything wrong with being a man, but men selling to men, I think is fundamentally different than women selling to women.
[00:03:16] Some of those tactics are old. Some of them do not work.
[00:03:21] Some of them are, like 1970s and, like, they just need to be revised.
[00:03:27] So I'm sorry, my little dog, my mother's dog just jumped up on the couch. So if you see her in the frame here, shortly, you'll know.
[00:03:37] Okay, so here's what's actually, I believe going on. And in 2025, it's time for a recalibration. We have learned. We have. We have learned to rely on scripts that do not sound like you. Like the experts say, this is the script. This is how you sell. This is how you show your position of authority and power and the person that, like, it's all this trickery, right? So there's these scripts that you're being told you need to use that just don't even sound like you. Raise your hand if you know what I'm talking about.
[00:04:14] We're also taught to manufacture urgency.
[00:04:20] This is my favorite. Listen, I want people to buy.
[00:04:23] I do, as much as the next person.
[00:04:26] But when there's always an urgency, I feel like you are definitely losing your trust with your audience. When there's always a countdown, when it's always buy now, it's never going to get better.
[00:04:40] When the sales get extended all the time, all the now. I'm not talking about, like, you can't use these things sometimes, but when. That's the entire strategy.
[00:04:52] Ooh, yuck. Okay.
[00:04:56] There's also been this very aggressive make the sales at all cost energy. Do what you need to do to close the sale, no matter what time of day it is, no matter what you're in the middle of, no matter how much you have to discount. I even have heard of some people being told to sacrifice part of their commissions.
[00:05:20] I'm gonna. I can't. I can hardly even say those words. Sacrifice part of your commissions in order to make the sale. That's a hard no. Just a hard, hard no. Hard no.
[00:05:32] We haven't been taught to show up. So what we end up doing is we talk more than we listen. And we think that continuing to talk, we're taught, like, just keep talking Just keep the conversation going. Just keep talking. And this other crazy notion of like, hey, just keep talking and keep talking until what? Say. Say it with me. Until they say no. How many times?
[00:05:53] Three times, right? Until they say no three times. And then the other thing is that we've been taught to sell in a way, honestly, that puts us in a position that we feel like we have to prove our worth instead of just showing up with it and owning it. Like, you're worth. That is because I'm here to tell you, regardless of what you're selling, sis, regardless of what you're selling, you are amazing. You are divinely made. You bring a unique story, circumstance, energy to the equation, period.
[00:06:36] And that counts. But, like, you don't get taught that.
[00:06:41] Woo. And authenticity. Now, everything is authenticity. Authenticity. Why? Because I can look all the other stuff up. So if I can look up all the other stuff that you're talking about, the value that you bring to the table, mamas, is you. It's you.
[00:06:58] So you know that's all that stuff isn't selling. I know. We're taught that it's selling. We're taught that, no, this is the thing. This is how you do it, right? But in actuality, it's not selling.
[00:07:12] It's just performing. And being a former theater kid, I can tell you I love a good performance.
[00:07:19] But most people.
[00:07:21] Most people, Marcy don't want to do that. Marcy do not. She does not want to do that.
[00:07:28] So what we want to talk about today is how you've been trained to hustle and you haven't been trained to lead.
[00:07:37] And the problem with that is maybe you're sitting here doubting that you can do this. Like, you have been trying all this time. I am here to tell you, not your fault. I am here to tell you you are not unmotivated. I am here to tell you you are not incapable. You have just been trained to hustle and not lead.
[00:08:01] And which of those things do you think is more fun? Hustling or leading?
[00:08:05] A hundred percent leading. And which do you think your customers appreciate more, the hustle or the leading? It's a hundred percent the leading. Are you picking up what I'm laying down? Not your fault.
[00:08:22] So what ends up happening is you try the thing you're doing the thing that you've been taught to do by typically, other people who don't know how to sell either. And there's this sense of like, oh, we're just going to turn through people until we find the right. No, no, that's like so old school. Nobody does that anymore.
[00:08:41] And so what happens is you.
[00:08:45] Maybe not you, maybe not you, maybe your friend has learned to associate. But this is important though. If you actually have a business that also requires other sellers or you're a sales manager, right.
[00:08:59] People start to associate sales with rejection.
[00:09:04] Huh? Raise your hand if you have associated sales with rejection or you have just been taught rejection is just part of the thing and you just need to get used to it. Judgment, yes, lots of judgment. Nobody likes being judged, but yet you're told to put that little armor on it. It makes people feel like a fraud because, because you're over performing and you don't feel like you.
[00:09:33] And as a result, and I see this all the time, you water down the offer.
[00:09:41] You w. Like, I was just talking to someone about their company introducing a new product and they're like, and of course we'll need a special. And I'm like, for a brand new product, you're going to need it. No hello, no.
[00:09:55] No solving a new problem.
[00:09:58] You get to, you get to ask for full price and then some that like a hundred percent.
[00:10:05] These companies that start with a new product and their strategy is we're going to offer it at a discount at first. You never, you listen to me. Listen, Linda. You never get to offer it at full price once you've discounted it, right? Like, I don't know if anybody ever told you that, but that's what happens. Listen, I don't shop at certain places and buy full price ever. I'm waiting for the coupon all the time. I don't, I don't care if I need it, like with the highest of urgency.
[00:10:40] If they're always offering a discount, I'm going to wait for a discount.
[00:10:47] Right?
[00:10:48] So you don't want to be watering down your offer.
[00:10:53] Absolutely, positively, and last but not least, all y', all, and I know, I know you feel this in your bones, you are spending like all of these things cause you to spend way too much time with the wrong people.
[00:11:11] The number of times I've spoken to people that have said, I have all the conversations, I am doing all the things and I look at what they're doing and I'm kind of like, yeah, but couldn't you tell this person really wasn't interested, like right now? Interested, like, it's like, you got to learn the process so that you know when to spend time with which people so that you are not wasting your time or wasting their time.
[00:11:41] People who are. People who are never going to Commit. Marcy. Marcy.
[00:11:46] They don't get a. They don't get a say. They don't get a say. Like, if you're not ever going to pay for the podcast, if you're not going to pay for the product, if you're not going to ever take the program, if you're not ever going to sign up for the offer or whatever it is, like, ever, ever, ever, like, there's no reason for me to continue to talk to you. Like, this is, like, not a nonprofit.
[00:12:12] Can I say that? Can I. Can I say that? Some of y' all need to understand, like, you are not a nonprofit. You are in business for profit, which means you've got to learn how to talk to the right people at the right time and spend time with the people who are likely to buy.
[00:12:31] So for roughly 10 minutes or so, we've been talking about all the crazy ways you may have been taught to sell. I know I was taught to sell those ways. And what begins to happen is your confidence begins to get eroded. You downgrade your involvement in your business. Maybe you start something else, or those of you that stick it out but never seem to show up to close the sale.
[00:13:03] You know you're distracted by every little sparkly thing or every laundry basket that comes your way. If you can't sit down and work your business, it is typically because your nervous system is saying, like, doing that doesn't feel safe.
[00:13:21] And I just gave you easily 12 minutes worth of reasons. It's not your fault that it doesn't feel safe. So the real reason, say with me, the real reason, real reason that sales feels hard, and this is something I want you to check in on whenever sales starts to feel hard, is that you have become disconnected from your authority.
[00:13:51] When you become disconnected from your authority, Mamas, you don't trust your own voice. Like, you hear yourself saying the things, and in the background, there's a little thing inside you going, liar, liar. She's lying. She doesn't believe that she's saying it, but she doesn't believe it. When you are disconnected from your authority, you don't trust your value.
[00:14:18] So you feel like you got to come in and over perform and show up all the time and work 24 hours and ignore your kiddos and ignore your family and ignore the exercise and ignore eating right and all the other parts of life that you are meant to enjoy.
[00:14:35] When you're disconnected from your authority, you don't trust your approach.
[00:14:40] And when you don't trust your approach, you are definitely going to fall back into toxic hustle mode.
[00:14:49] And listen, the key here is when it feels weird, when it feels awkward, you know that your belief is shaky and you need to do something about it.
[00:15:06] So what do we need to do? We need to approach it from a framework that I call calm confidence.
[00:15:16] You need to become a master at calm confidence. Not crazy hustle, not chicken with your head cut off. But like calm confidence.
[00:15:29] When you are in calm confidence mode, by the way, by the way, this is what's going to happen.
[00:15:37] You're going to lead with clarity and not persuasion. You're going to lead with clarity and not persuasion. You're going to speak to transformation rather than features. This is a huge one.
[00:15:54] Listen, if you could just get number two right, you're going to significantly increase your sales. Just like, they're all good, but number two. But number. Say to yourself, but number two, I need to learn how to speak to transformation and not the features. In other words, you're here in a less desirable place.
[00:16:18] My product or service solves a specific problem keeping you in that undesirable space. And I'm going to help you get from that undesirable space to desired outcome. Desired outcome.
[00:16:36] That doesn't happen when you're like, and it has this in it and it includes this and all of these things like list, list, list, fact, fact, fact. That's what I'm talking about. That doesn't work.
[00:16:47] That doesn't work. So speak to transformation versus features and then learn to hold your value without over explaining. And I will tell you, there's a lot of y' all stuck in imposter syndrome. And there's two groups of people out there. Mostly there's the people that are like, it's definitely imposter syndrome. And then there's other people, like, what Imposter What?
[00:17:09] So imposter syndrome is when you don't feel worthy to speak from the place that you are speaking from. So you feel super fake.
[00:17:21] And that's important because when you feel fake, that energy just like pours out of your content. It pours out of your conversations and your prospects feel it too.
[00:17:38] You have a lot of value. And can I tell you, you have more value than your business. You have more value than your title. You have more value than your income. You have more value than your success. But you've got to show up first from a place of I am worthy and I have a lot to offer.
[00:18:02] Maybe it's not for you right now and that's okay. But that isn't going to stop Me, because my value is internally generated and not externally generated. Okay, Calm confidence, right? One, lead with clarity. Two, speak to transformation. Three, learn to hold your value.
[00:18:23] Four, along the same lines, show up like someone worth following.
[00:18:31] Show up like someone worth following.
[00:18:35] So in the private podcast, we had a conversation around, what does it look like to be you in your business? What do people think when they look at your social media, when they talk to you? Are you complaining about the problems of your business? Now, there's kind of like two sides of this. There's the overperforming, and I'm not even speaking from authenticity. But, man, I was told to show up, like, I'm super successful and act like everything's fine when it's not.
[00:19:08] And then there's that group of people that like everything.
[00:19:11] And people will say things to me like, yeah, my customers don't know or my friends don't know. We. We know.
[00:19:17] We know. We know, Marcy. We can see it. It's, like, all over your face.
[00:19:23] So I want you to focus on showing up like someone worth following. If you're selling something, I want to know that, like, you're in it to win it. And, like, it's not gonna be, I, I can't find you in two weeks when the rain comes or things got difficult for you. If I'm going to hitch my wagon to your star as a customer, I gotta know that you're gonna come in and do the thing, come hell or high water. Are you picking up what I'm laying down?
[00:19:53] And last but not least, make sure that you are building your conviction before you build a sales funnel.
[00:20:03] Just like you, I'm doing all the things. There are so many days that I look at my notebook and my stuff and I'm like, I don't even know. I don't even know. And what I end up doing is I end up. Keep working through it. Like, I keep showing up. Like, even podcasting. My first few takes of the podcast, they're horrible. You never get the first version. You get, like, the third version, the warmed up version. And that's okay to have a process in your business where you're warming up and you're building conviction. People who get into business, people who get into business just for the money do not last long.
[00:20:49] They do not last long.
[00:20:51] And it is important that you feel like regardless of who says yes, who says no, who shows up, who likes your post, who doesn't like your post, who's in it to win it with you, that you are convicted about your offer and its ability to solve a problem for a person.
[00:21:13] I, with all of my heart, believe I can teach you how to make your business work for you in a way that's not pushy or spammy or inauthentic. Because I've done it. I've done it for myself. I've done it for lots and lots of people.
[00:21:30] And I don't really. I mean, like, I'd love it if you loved it, but like, my self worth, my confidence, my conviction is not tied to whether you say yes or no. I might keep showing up. I'm going to keep doing the podcast. Are you picking up? Are you picking up? Are you picking it up? Are you picking up? Some of y' all look for feedback and you look for validation. And then you decide for yourself whether or not you feel convicted. Conviction is an inside job. People not only buy transformation, but they buy your conviction.
[00:22:04] And in future podcasts, we will talk about words that definitely bring conviction to the conversation and words that drain confidence and conviction not only for you, but for your prospects as well.
[00:22:21] So the moral of the story is calm confidence all day, every day. That's the conversation. That's what we're teaching. Go ahead and comment below. Like, do me a favor.
[00:22:33] Like download, share this podcast. It is designed to help people like you and your friends and your team do better at what you do. And if you really want to dig deep.
[00:22:48] And by the way, for right now, I have a special private podcast for people in the space of social selling. Because, man, that whole channel needs an upgrade and I know I can help you with that. So those that information is in the show notes. But either way, if you want to know, are you suffering from impostor syndrome, there's a checklist. I have it willing to share it with you. It is in the show notes. Go ahead and comment below.
[00:23:16] Super excited to have you here. And until then, Studio G clacking out to go live my life, be the best version of me, and to share my excitement and enthusiasm with the rest of the world. You do the same too.
