Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Let me take you on a little journey.
[00:00:03] I remember being a busy mom like so many of you. And it doesn't, by the way, it doesn't change. The busyness just changes. But you're always busy when you're a mom. Can I get an amen? Type an amen in the comments. Listen.
[00:00:17] So I remember being in my minivan. Yes, the minivan days. Being in the minivan with like a car full of kids and it was super duper crazy late. Like we were way past dinner. And everybody knows that stress, if you're a mom of littles, you know, the stress of we are out, it is past dinner time and things are about to completely melt down.
[00:00:44] So I was not really the healthiest choice person at the time. We stopped a Burger King.
[00:00:53] I hate to even say that with my out loud voice, but we stopped at Burger King and I just needed to feed those people something.
[00:01:02] I was not focused, I was not prepared, and I was in tactical get things done mode. Okay? So when you're a mom and that's happening, you know, the stress and some of you are hyperventilating as you listen to this.
[00:01:21] So anyway, I pull up to the drive through and I'm looking at the window of, you know, of the order and it said like, please, you know, figure out what you want and then pull ahead to the mic to order.
[00:01:40] So I looked at the stuff, I'm talking to the kids in the back, and I pull up, roll my window down, and I hear this faint little voice say, hey, welcome to Burger King. May I help you? And I'm a. Yep. And now, now I've got people in the back doing all kinds of crazy things. And I'm talking while I'm looking for my wallet.
[00:02:00] So I'm like, yes, I will have three kids meals. Four. Four kids. Excuse me, four kids meals. And we'll have water with that and I'll have chicken nuggets with. And I'm going through like the. And this one doesn't. Don't put the bun on that one. Just gimme lettuce. Because we got gluten allergies. And this person wants chicken nuggets in theirs and this person wants a cheeseburger in theirs. And you know, and I'm going through like the whole thing.
[00:02:31] And I hear the little voice say, I'm sorry, I can hardly hear you. Will you say it again? And I'm like, yes, now. Now I'm looking in the back because somebody's pulling somebody's hair. So I'm looking in the mirror in the back. And I'm like, I will have three kids meals. One with a burger, no bun. The second one, Chicken McNuggets.
[00:02:53] Wrong store. I know, wrong restaurant. Chicken McNuggets with a mustard sauce and french fries. And we're not gonna have any soda, so can I have water with that? And I went out and I hear the person say, again, I'm sorry, we can't hear you. Could you speak a little louder? Now? Now. Now I'm getting frustrated because I'm like, I have talked to you people for three times. Three times now. I've given you my order.
[00:03:22] I need to get this thing done as quickly as possible and get back on the road with all the people intact and my sanity still about me.
[00:03:34] And so I said it again. I was like, chicken nuggets. And just said, give me three burgers. No buns for anybody. So now I'm like, no buns for anybody. Extra ketchup, all the things. And then as I am now finding my wallet and now I'm like, in, like, let me look at you and see what your problem is mode. I turn around and I realize I am talking to the flipping trash can. I am literally and have been for the last five minutes talking into one of those, you know, those hooded trash cans, the ones that could easily be mistaken for the place you order if you aren't paying attention. I literally lost my mind. All I kept thinking was, they must be.
[00:04:30] Can you imagine them all inside laughing hilariously at the crazy woman with her kids talking to the trash can?
[00:04:45] And decades later, I still remember this story.
[00:04:51] And to me, it is such a clear example of. Of. I don't know what a fool you can make of yourself. Like, what? What? Actually good connection with another human being doesn't look like. Like, it is the epitome of, hey, here's not to behave. Here's how not to behave when it comes to treating people important.
[00:05:19] Here's how not to behave when you really need to communicate and connect and you are just not even in the right frame of mind.
[00:05:31] So I want to take you through a really quick discussion. Four things that you need to be paying attention to if you want to and you do master connecting with people.
[00:05:47] Customer connections matter so much more than they ever have before. It's not even an option, y'. All. It's the entire game. People are tired, they're overloaded, and their trust levels are at like an all time low. So if you can learn and you can to connect really well, really authentically, you Will rise above the noise.
[00:06:14] You will become a refreshing voice that feels safe and steady. You will help people let their guards down.
[00:06:25] They will a hundred percent buy more, connect with you, stay longer and they're going to refer their friends. Okay, so step number one right out of the gate. Pay attention. Say that out loud. Pay attention. Like all the attention. Give them all the attention until there is no more attention be given. Pay.
[00:06:49] Pay attention.
[00:06:51] And I'm telling you this because so many of us have learned how to multitask.
[00:06:57] I'm going to say it again. We've learned how to multitask. So like we're doing laundry and we're on the phone. We're driving the kids or driving to work and we're talking on our phone. We aren't even at the park, honestly with our children because we are on our phone or we are somewhere with someone. But I'm not really paying attention because I need you to just buy the thing. I am already thinking about what's going to happen if you don't buy.
[00:07:32] So you gotta be dedicated to paying attention. There is no way, there's just no way y' all none to be connected to someone when you're not giving them all the attention. And that means you have to know what you're going to say ahead of time. Like the very worst time to think about what you're going to say is in the moment that you need to say it.
[00:08:01] And I'm good at making stuff up. I mean I have decades of verbiage experience and I will wing it from time to time. But. But I am here to tell you the best conversations are the ones that I have rehearsed in my head over and over and over prior actually having the conversation.
[00:08:23] Okay. Number two is start with a story that they can relate to. So a lot of times we show up and we're like, well, I don't know what to say. And I'm like okay, well then start with a story and that they can relate to. And here's the secret. So if you're, you're not paying attention because this is the secret to storytelling.
[00:08:42] Tell a story that addresses a problem related to a self limiting belief. You see, a lot of times people tell stories and they have nothing to actually do with the person or the situation. You want to think about the people that, that you're talking to. If you've ever studied storybrand and I, I really do recommend that the way that it works is it's stories. Stories are characters with a problem with a problem that they're ready to do something about. There's that caveat. I think I added that, but it's true. A person, a character with a problem that they're ready to do something about and they meet a guide with an action plan and, and they turn it around.
[00:09:32] And to do this, you just gotta know who you're talking to. You gotta know who your people are. You gotta understand their problems and their fears. Yes, savvy sellers, my sales confidence mamas. I am telling you, you have to do this work so that when you show up, you don't sound pushy or spammy. You actually sound like you know what they're experiencing and, and how to connect with them.
[00:10:00] And this is why it is so hard to just take advice from anyone and just follow it rotely.
[00:10:09] Because if you don't know how to make it your own, if you don't know how to dissect it, you're going to sound weird because one, it doesn't resonate with your audience and two, it doesn't sound like you.
[00:10:20] Sally may be working with midlife women who are like premenopausal. She's going to have to say different things and talk a different way. Are you picking up what I'm laying down?
[00:10:34] So let me just take you through a couple of very quick exercises here. So the problem, the solution, the guide. Right? So you might start. I might start by telling a story, maybe on social media. Maybe when I'm talking to someone who says, hey, I want to know a little bit more about you do. It's like, hey, tell the story of that skeptical, overworked corporate mom who's now a raving fan. Skeptical, overworked corporate mom who became a raving fan by working with you.
[00:11:06] See, those things create mental image pictures in people's minds and it makes them feel something in their heart. But it takes a little practice.
[00:11:19] Get your story, record it on your phone, tell it to a friend, do it over and over. I will tell you my secret sauce.
[00:11:30] My secret recipe to any presentation is to say it out loud three times. Three times. Three times out loud. Most people won't put in the work. You know, I remember when I was in charge of big corporate events and we would have speakers come and we would have some people get to the stage. And I was like, did you practice this out loud three times? And like, nobody wanted to do it. You're like, I just want to look at the notes and I'm just going to talk. And I'm like, ah, oh. Here's the Problem with that. Here's the problem with that.
[00:12:01] If you're always thinking about what you need to say, you aren't really paying attention. It is so much easier to connect with your audience, whether it's one on one, whether it's social media or whether it's tens of thousands of people at a live corporate event. It is so much easier to throw yourself out there to create connection when you know what you're going to say.
[00:12:25] Step number three, stop trying to impress people like that. Boop. Done. We are done. Your credentials matter. They do. But can I tell you, that doesn't create connection.
[00:12:37] Connection comes from authenticity and honesty.
[00:12:42] Honesty. Your audience wants to hear the real stuff from your journey. They don't want to just see the highlight reel and the polished parts of your life. You know, there's so many people out there that tell their after story more than their before story.
[00:13:01] Do you know what people in the quicksand want to hear?
[00:13:05] They don't want to hear how you're on the bank and having a party because you escaped the quicksand.
[00:13:12] They want to hear how you know what it feels like to be sinking in the quicksand.
[00:13:20] And I do.
[00:13:22] You want them to know that, you know, you want to have them feel seen where they are suffering in the quicksand.
[00:13:34] So think, don't worry about, like, oh, I need to look like I got it all together and I need to look like I'm making a gazillion dollars.
[00:13:44] Remember, we talked about trust at the beginning? Nobody really believes that anyway.
[00:13:50] Hear me when I say this.
[00:13:52] Credibility lands best inside real human moments.
[00:14:01] It's not in your degrees. It's not in what you've accomplished. It's in those real human moments.
[00:14:08] And step number four is close.
[00:14:11] Close with conviction.
[00:14:13] And I love a good invitation.
[00:14:17] And as a matter of fact, I'm going to be hanging out in the sales confidence studio. That's where I'm hanging out now. That's where all the real magic happens for my friends. And we are friends. And if you want to come and visit us there, I have a special gift for you in the show notes where you can have seven days inside. Take a look, see what it's like. You know, you might find a home there. Thank you. Here's your final takeaway. Connection is not complicated. It's a skill.
[00:14:51] It's a rhythm.
[00:14:53] It grows when you stop hiding behind perfection.
[00:14:58] It's not about the perfect marketing. It shows up when you let people meet that version of you who's lived a little failed a little, learned a lot and is not afraid to teach it.
[00:15:13] So don't make it weird. It's so easy. Just make it fun.
[00:15:19] So glad to have spent some time with you today. I look forward to seeing you on our next Fix this and Grow Fast. Check out the show notes and visit us in the Sales Confidence Lab.
