Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Took my daughter wedding dress shopping. Two different stores, two different experiences. One shop totally gets buying psychology. The other one, not so much.
[00:00:12] So let me tell you what I mean. We went wedding dress shopping, which should have been, like, the most incredible experience, honestly, of my daughter's life.
[00:00:21] The first shop was okay. Like, we didn't really know what to expect. We went in, the people were, like, nice.
[00:00:28] But the whole experience was just kind of lackluster. It was a very big space. There were beautiful dresses lined around the outside walls of the entire store. There were, like, literally along the back wall, probably 10 or 15 dressing rooms all back to back. Like, it looked kind of like a department store, if I'm being honest.
[00:00:54] The dressing rooms were kind of small and there was no, like, step or anything. So the bride and her entire big dress are kind of squished into this dressing room. And then they had little sections in front of each of the dressing rooms now because they were all lined up next to each other, each of the dressing rooms. Okay, I took my daughter wedding dress shopping. Two stores, two weeks apart. Two completely different experiences. The first one, nice people. I mean, genuinely nice. But the moment we walked in, someone was already standing there with, like, more of a clipboard vibe and a let me check the boxes sort of experience.
[00:01:39] We got in. The reservation wasn't in the right name because I made the reservation and I am not the bride. My daughter went in, super excited, very happy to be there. So checked in and then was immediately informed with a little bit of an annoying attitude that the reservation was indeed in the wrong name. And then the woman began to ask questions about why that was as if, I don't know, like, we had just committed some major crime.
[00:02:09] So she takes it, she takes a sigh, and then she stands there pounding on the clipboard, and then she changes everything up. So, like, right from the get go, the experience was just kind of like, oh, sorry. Like, seriously. I literally was like, oh, my gosh, chick, do you understand what's happening here? You are putting us in our fight and flight mode when we are here to spend thousands of dollars with you on a wedding dress. You have now put us on the defensive. Bad move, wedding store. Anyhow, the reservation wasn't in the right name. You could feel the irritation, and we just kind of blew over it. But we started looking around, and we also got yelled at because we were looking at dresses on our own. And we aggravated someone because we were in their space and it was kind of crowded, if I'm being honest.
[00:03:02] There were, like, there were like, in this wedding store, dress store, there were tons of dresses around the outside edge of, like, three quarters of the store. And then the other edge was a lineup of, I thought, relatively small dressing rooms. And I was actually a little surprised. The way that the whole store was set up was there were dressing rooms right next to each other, and outside of each of the dressing rooms, kind of perpendicular, not parallel to, but perpendicular to the dressing room was a row of chairs that faced another mirror. But there was literally only, like, three feet of space, but between the edge of my knees and the mirror, which meant that whoever was trying the dress on would come out to your left or your right, depending on which side you were sitting on. And then they would have to squeeze themselves and this big dress out of the dressing room and then stand in front of you where there really wasn't even enough room to fully expand the entire skirt. And. Or like. And. Or train. Like, literally, like, I was there. I could touch my daughter as she came out of the dressing room, and I thought, oh, that's kind of weird. Like, this is kind of squishy. And then on top of that, to my back, literally to my back, was another row of chairs for the next person. And then behind them were two chairs, again back to back, and then behind them was another row of chairs. And then in front of me, to the right was another set of chairs, and to the left was another set of chairs. So it was all very, very open. We super excited. So we didn't really care at that much, honestly. At least we didn't think we cared. And then, you know, we tried them on. There were a lot of oohs and ahs and. And what was so interesting about the experience was, although we had a stylist helping us, it was my younger daughter who went into the dressing room to help her sister get ready. And then the lady would come in and clip the bags, whatever. Then my daughter would open the door and kind of squish her way out and stand in front of us. And. And then we would, like, look at the dress. And of course, she looked beautiful.
[00:05:18] There were tons of oohs and a. As I said, the attendant was very happy and very friendly.
[00:05:25] And we literally looked at the dresses, enjoyed our time. A lot of oozing a. As I said. And then, you know, we left. We left because Gabriella said, and I quote, you know what? These are pretty.
[00:05:39] But, like, it just didn't do anything for me. Like, I don't feel like this was the dress.
[00:05:47] And honestly, it was giving, like, Bridal assembly line vibes instead of we really care about your special day vibes.
[00:05:58] So we left the second store we went to a week later from the get go, gave completely different vibes. We walked in, there was a lovely couch to the left, left. There were three women again, dressed in black just like the other store, at a desk just like the other store. But when we came in, the whole experience was different. It was like, welcome, Gabriella, we are so excited that you're here. We are ready for you. We're gonna take you back in just a minute. Is your entire party here? Like, the whole thing gave like upscale, cool, this is your day. It was so sweet. Then they usher us back to the. The main part of the boutique. Now notice that I said boutique and not store because it gave boutique vibes. It didn't give mass production, check the list vibes. It gave exclusivity vibes. It gave this is your day vibes. When we walked in, you couldn't see like everyone else. There was not a big open floor with a bunch of open chairs. As a matter of fact, in the center. This room, I guess the best way I could describe it, was a very large circular style kind of dressing room that was divided up in very large, like pieces of, like a pie, if you will. So I would say in this store there were probably a total of six different dressing rooms all around. Like this circular sort of experience in the middle of the floor. And each of the, if you will, slices of dressing rooms was a huge beautiful set of drapes that opened and closed. And when we walked to Gabriella's little slice of the dressing room, we immediately were sat in very cute comfy chairs. They weren't these plastic chairs. There were. Some of them were couches, some of them were club chairs. Like, it just felt completely different. And we faced the actual dressing space, which was huge. And in the center of the dressing space, there was like a little step pedestal with a beautiful sign welcoming Gabriella and congratulating her on her day. There were three full length mirrors so she could see every part of her gown.
[00:08:29] And there were curtains. There were these beautiful drapes. They were probably about 12ft tall.
[00:08:35] And these drapes opened and closed to expose or reveal the dressing room. But what struck me immediately was hanging up in the dressing room as we got. There was a robe nicely tied up on a beautiful hanger.
[00:08:53] And I knew right away, oh my gosh, this is the experience every bride should have. The private dressing room, the big mirrors, the chairs, everything gave.
[00:09:09] This is your special Day, and we want to be a part of it. So what was so fun was they asked us who we were. We introduced ourselves, and then the stylist and my daughter went behind the clothes drapes, and they did this cute little dramatic, like, okay, you guys, talk amongst yourselves. And then she closes the drapes, and she begins to do the measurements, all that kind of good stuff. And then she opens the drapes, and there's Gabriella in this adorable, beautiful robe. And it was kind of like, oh, my gosh, it's happening. This is your moment. And then they went and they went to pick out different gowns.
[00:09:50] They came back with three different beautiful gowns. And Gabriella tried on the first gown. Now, here's how this worked.
[00:09:59] She brought the gown into the little space, closed the little curtain so we couldn't see a thing. As a matter of fact, we could just kind of see the train coming out from the bottom of the curtain so they had enough room for the entire dress.
[00:10:13] And then they swing the curtains open as if they were presenting, like, something incredible. And there's my daughter looking at herself in the mirrors in this beautiful gown, and you could just see on her face a completely different experience.
[00:10:33] And she loved that first dress. I mean, even though I was surprised, because it wasn't the kind of dress that she said she was looking for necessarily, something about the sleeves, but she was just looking at herself in that mirror and. And then just admiring the beauty of the dress. But what was so interesting was it just looked different than how she looked at herself in the other bridal salon.
[00:11:01] And then. Then something incredible happened. They put on a veil.
[00:11:06] They put on a veil, and she's looking at herself, and she went from giddy little girl, right? Giddy. Like, I've never seen my daughter giggle so much. It was the cutest thing in the world.
[00:11:18] And in a split second after she looked at herself with that veil on, she spontaneously burst into tears, and we all burst into tears with her. And this was just the first dress, y'. All. But I gotta tell you, I knew it was the dress.
[00:11:35] And in that moment, we locked eyes, and I literally sent her a mental message that was like, girl, mama, don't care what that dress costs. We are buying it. And legitimately, y', all, I went in with, like, the budget mindset because I like a deal. And I literally thought to myself, I don't care what I have to do. I don't care if I have to drive Uber. I don't care if I have to doordash. I Don't have care if I have to walk dogs, clean houses, find 50 more clients. I don't care what I have to do. I am buying that dang dress.
[00:12:11] Now I will, full disclosure, give full credit to my mom, whose gift to all of her granddaughters is a dress. But this was beyond the budget. I knew it was beyond the budget. I could tell by looking at it it was beyond the budget. But what I want you to think about is what she and I were both experiencing in that moment. We literally didn't care about the price because it met the experiential need.
[00:12:40] Same product, similar price range.
[00:12:45] One place made her feel processed, but the other place hit her bride identity.
[00:12:53] And this was honestly something that happened, I would say, before she even tried on the dress. And it wasn't just her. I was watching because I'm a curious businesswoman, and I'm a saleswoman, and I was watching every single other little party. Now, because of how the Circle dressing rooms were shaped, we actually couldn't see the other brides from where we were sitting. We had to get up and actually walk around to see the other brides. But we could see the faces of the other people watching their brides try on dresses. And I will tell you, as I was walking around, one for one, when any of those brides found the dress that they wanted, and I am not kidding, they all spontaneously burst into tears. Every single bride went from this is pretty, right? Trying on various dresses. Oh, this is pretty. This is nice. To like, like ugly cry. Every one of them hit a moment. The ugly cry, that was the dress. That was the moment. And what happened in that second store is exactly what's missing and how most women, women in particular in direct sales or network marketing, this is what's missing when you show up for your customers. And today we're going to break it down exactly how it is so that you can build these sort of experiences and never have to hit a price. Objection. Again, here's what I want you to understand about that second story. They didn't have a better dress necessarily. And let me tell you, there were no scripts.
[00:14:41] Nobody said anything particularly brilliant. We didn't hear about the fabrics. We didn't hear about the rhinestones. We didn't hear a dang detail about anything.
[00:14:56] What they did, however, was they made a decision probably a long time ago about what it was going to feel like to be a potential bride in their space.
[00:15:09] And then they built the entire experience around that. And I mean everything from the confirmation messages to the message before to the arrival, to. To the bathrobe, to everything.
[00:15:27] And I mean everything.
[00:15:29] That robe, it wasn't just a nice touch. It was the first signal. It said, you're not here to shop, girl.
[00:15:39] You're here to become something beautiful.
[00:15:44] We've already thought about how this is going to feel for you. And I'm talking immediate trust.
[00:15:53] The private room, instead of the cattle car room, said, this moment is yours.
[00:15:59] Not to be shared with any other person next to you or their guests. We're not rushing. This is yours. It was intimate, and it was personal.
[00:16:11] The chairs, even the little couches said, the people who you brought matter to us, too.
[00:16:17] And we thought about them in advance.
[00:16:20] And those reveal moments where the curtains open up.
[00:16:25] This was the moment that everything else was built toward.
[00:16:33] None of that is about the product.
[00:16:35] All of it is about the environment and the experience.
[00:16:40] And what the environment did.
[00:16:43] What it all did together was it staged. A future version of herself.
[00:16:50] One so specifically and vividly crafted that she felt her wedding day before she even made a single decision.
[00:17:03] That's why she was crying, y'. All. Not because she found the dress, but because she could already feel. Feel the day.
[00:17:12] Her body literally responded spontaneously. Before her brain could price check a dang thing, she actually had a memory that she hadn't made yet.
[00:17:26] And that store built it for her before she even arrived. And what I want you to know is most sellers don't think about this.
[00:17:37] We worry about what to say. We think about the product, what people need to know. We think about the price and how to present it. But the experience of being in your customer's world, we don't really formulate it. We don't craft it, because nobody is deciding in advance how the experience should go. We, most of us, have inherited the culture and the experiences.
[00:18:08] We have inherited something and started operating inside of it without ever actually thinking about the experience of our prospects or our customers. And that's exactly where the sale is being lost.
[00:18:23] This is why sometimes you get oohs and ahs from your prospects, but they never buy.
[00:18:30] Now, I want to bring this into your business because what that store did for my daughter, if you can do that for your customer, you'll never lose another sale. As a matter of fact, you'll have more sales than you can possibly even imagine. Because do you think I'm going to tell 900 people about this store? I certainly am. Because I want other moms to see their daughters experience that exact moment. And this is something that. It takes intention. This is intentional selling. This this is attraction marketing. This is what you want to work toward so that you're selling feels more consultative and creates an experience and impact versus checklists and feeling like you have to convince people. Because I do this every day inside the sales confidence studio that I created for women who are tired of pitching and hustling and doing things from a bro sales standpoint and, and by the way, outdated techniques that no longer work. And I'm going to share it all with you because I feel like there are so many more women starting their own businesses, so many more women getting into sales and the old way those bro sales techniques, they just do not align with who we are and most importantly, they do not align with who our customers are. So let's break this down so that you understand this.
[00:19:54] Your customer actually has accepted a specific lie. Nobody's probably ever told you that, but it's true. There's not a general feeling of doubt, but actually a specific lie about why the life she wants, the business, the income, the body, the leadership, the confidence, why that is for other people but not for her. You can call it a self limiting belief but. But it's a lie that she internally actually believes.
[00:20:27] And I call it honestly the butt gap. And I don't mean b u t t gap, I mean like but as in when I talk to high performing women, they always know exactly what they want.
[00:20:43] They will tell me that they want to build something real. They want teams that respect respect them. They want to be respected by people who aren't even on their teams as being authentic business women. They want to sell in a way that feels natural instead of desperate. They can articulate it all. And then comes the but.
[00:21:06] I want this but I think I have to have a different personality.
[00:21:13] I want this, but I haven't made enough money yet to call myself successful.
[00:21:19] They'll say I want this but I'm not sure other people will actually take me or this business seriously.
[00:21:27] The but is everything.
[00:21:29] That's the specific lie she's living inside right now.
[00:21:34] And I know this because I can remember my own.
[00:21:38] Mine was going way back to being in sales that smart educated people don't do sales. They default to it when they can't get another job. Everyone has a butt gap.
[00:21:52] And now that I use that word out loud, maybe I should have rethought it, but it's true. It's the moment that they say but.
[00:22:00] So how do we find our customers? Butt gap. Oh my gosh, every time I say that, okay, we're going to go with it though, because I'm committed to.
[00:22:11] There's three places. First, you got to get in touch with your own. Like, the gap your customer is living in right now is almost always the same gap that you lived.
[00:22:21] So what was the specific lie that you told yourself before you actually figured this out? Start there. Second, listen to defeating language. Not the objections, the actual defeating language. I just don't think I'm cut out for this. Maybe this isn't for me. I've already tried everything.
[00:22:40] That's the gap talking. She's not objecting to the product. She's telling you the lie that she's accepted. This is why I have to tell you guys. The more conversations you have and the more conversations you are willing to be present in and the more you stop looking for people to simply tell you yes, the better you are going to get at this because people are leaving clues all over the place.
[00:23:07] Third, find the inverse of the dream. So whatever she says she wants, just flip it. That's really the shadow version of what she actually is experiencing.
[00:23:17] So she wants a team that shows up and follows her. The inverse is she suspects her team responds to her pressure and not their own motivation.
[00:23:26] And she knows that that's not leadership. She feels like she hasn't earned it.
[00:23:32] She thinks, listen, I actually just got in first.
[00:23:36] She wants to sell with confidence. The inverse of that is she feels like she's convincing people like she's chasing them, like she knows it and that they can feel it too.
[00:23:49] The inverse of the dream is always the thing that the prospect feels deep down but will not say out loud. And here's what this has to do with the bridal store. When you name that gap, when you say the thing that she thought only she knew, she leans in because she recognizes herself in that message. That's the moment that she legitimately thinks, oh my gosh, she gets me. She's legitimately talking about me.
[00:24:19] But that recognition alone doesn't close anything. That's why so many of you have people liking posts and commenting and engaging conversations. But they never buy with you because you do a good job of helping them recognize themselves. But you don't take this second step. Recognition is what makes her lean in. What makes her say, yes.
[00:24:41] Well, that's different.
[00:24:42] That's when you stage the entire future so vividly that she feels it.
[00:24:50] That's the memory she hasn't made yet. You want to get good at crafting those experiences. And that's what we're going to cover next.
[00:25:00] Everything I need to know about Somebody's sales leadership capacity will spill out of their mouth. When I talk to them, every single client I have, I listen to and I make notes about what they're saying and I'm making notes so that I can discover one, what their butt gaps are and two, what their self limiting beliefs are, and three, how they really see themselves as a leader.
[00:25:27] So let's talk about language, because when I say spills out of their mouth, I'm looking at specific things.
[00:25:35] Before you ever show someone a product, before you give a price quote, before you send them a link, you've already told them exactly who your product or service is for.
[00:25:48] And you're also telling her before you even start the conversations, whether that someone like her. And this is important because most of us inherit vocabulary and we just keep using the same outdated, unworkable vocabulary and we just keep teaching others to use it without ever stopping to ask, what is this actually really signaling?
[00:26:16] So let's break this apart. Signal number one, what you're signaling is based on what you call your potential customers. How do you refer to her when you talk about her? Do you call her customer? Do you call her a business partner, a distributor, a team member?
[00:26:34] What you call her matters. Because every one of those words land differently. And I see this constantly when I work with leaders, women who are genuinely building something serious. But the words coming out of their mouth make it sound like this is like smaller than it actually is.
[00:26:54] They say my customers when what they mean is the women I serve, they say my downline.
[00:27:03] And I want to stop them right there.
[00:27:06] That word, that insider word, your downline, that's the one word that will tell a professional woman everything she needs to know about the culture that she's walking into.
[00:27:20] What you call her tells her who you think she is.
[00:27:25] So audit it.
[00:27:27] Not your pitch, your everyday language, the words you use before you even get to the product matters.
[00:27:36] Audit it. Signal number two, what are you inviting her into?
[00:27:41] Is it join my team, join my community, join our movement? I want to step through all of that for a moment because what I know about the woman you're trying to attract, she's not looking to join a dang thing, y'. All. She's looking to build something.
[00:28:01] Do you see the difference?
[00:28:02] Listen, Linda, you keep saying that you want to have a team of business leaders, but you keep talking in a way that attracts team members or followers.
[00:28:16] Community members aren't trying to build something.
[00:28:20] Community members are looking for you to tell them what the experience is. The next thing that you're Doing how it's going to go. And listen, a professional woman, those high achievers, they know that there's a difference. They don't want to join something. They want to build something. And I know this because, honestly, this was me when I got serious about this business. Joining someone else's team was not my goal.
[00:28:48] I wanted to lead my own team.
[00:28:51] I wanted my own business.
[00:28:53] I didn't want someone telling me what to do. That's what I was walking away from. I didn't want to sit on calls where 20 minutes got lost because people couldn't figure out how to get on the call, couldn't figure out the password for the back office, or couldn't figure out even who they were going to talk to. I needed calls that were about the business, not motivation.
[00:29:15] I didn't even like the hype. I still don't like hype. I wanted to know how to run a better business business. And I'm going to be honest here.
[00:29:24] I'm just going to say it. I didn't want to wear the team T shirt. I didn't. I didn't want to wear cute things on the front of a T shirt in bright colors that weren't me because that just gave sorority vibes, and it didn't give high performing, high business achiever vibes. Now, listen, if we're all going to wear the same cool, expensive jewelry, I was good with that. If we were gonna look kind of chic together, I was good with that. But no, I did not want to wear your name across my chest at the events.
[00:29:59] And yes, at the time. And you might have people on your team that you're like, ah, they just don't want to do the things. That's right. Because they don't want to follow.
[00:30:08] They want to lead. And that's a good thing. I never went to a business meeting where we all wore the same cute little T shirts.
[00:30:17] It felt fabricated. It felt inauthentic. Listen, I don't coordinate my outfits and other people with other people in real life, and I certainly didn't want to do it in business.
[00:30:27] I didn't want the cheaply branded swag that someone thought through it and ordered in advance from China. I didn't want another flowery notebook with a cute saying on the front or another penned with a logo on it, because that's not what I was building.
[00:30:44] And the women that you want in your organizations, the ones that you want to run with you, I'm gonna tell you, they feel the exact same way. You just haven't heard anyone admit to it out loud yet. So there it did you a favor.
[00:31:00] So when you say, join my team, she hears there's a team, someone leads it, and that someone is not her. And when you say, join my community, she hears belonging, not building.
[00:31:15] When you say join a movement, it's still passive. It's still about attaching herself to something someone else created.
[00:31:25] So here's what I learned to say instead. And here's what I teach my clients inside of the Sales Confidence Studio to say instead. I am looking for women who are already leading. This just gives them a bigger stage.
[00:31:41] This is perfect for a specific kind of woman. And not everyone is the right fit. I don't recruit.
[00:31:49] I build with women who are serious about building something of their own. Did you hear that?
[00:31:56] Build something of their own.
[00:32:00] You're not inviting a high performing woman to join.
[00:32:05] You're telling her what you're looking for. And that's discernment. And a professional woman responds to discernment the way she responds to nothing else, because it tells her this person understands what I'm actually after.
[00:32:23] Signal three words to retire.
[00:32:27] There are so many words that you have inherited that really are harming your business.
[00:32:32] And there is a pattern that I want to name specifically because I still see it everywhere in 2026 and it's costing you clients.
[00:32:43] I would love to get rid of those four words. I would love to hop on a call with you. I would love to share more. I would love it if you were to join us. I would love to work with you. I would love for you to check this out.
[00:33:00] I would love to give you a sample. Retire all of it. I would love to. It signals want. And want signals desperation. It's your want. It's your desperation. You wanting something from her. I'm telling you, it's not the thing. And a professional woman, consciously or not, reads that immediately. It positions you as someone hoping for a yes instead of someone who already knows the value of what they're offering.
[00:33:27] Replace it with language of certainty.
[00:33:31] Instead of I would love to hop on a call with you, you say, let's get on a call. I've got time on Thursday.
[00:33:38] Instead of I would love to share more with you, say here's what you actually really need to know.
[00:33:43] Instead of I would love it if you joined. Start saying, here's what's available to you and what you have access to when you're ready to move forward.
[00:33:53] Instead of I would love to work with you. Say, this is the exactly the kind of person I build with. Or you're actually the kind of woman who could run circles around me. Or women like you tend to go to the very top of the company. I've seen it repeatedly.
[00:34:09] Same intention, completely different signals.
[00:34:14] And while we're here, like, as long as we're friends, having a really frank conversation.
[00:34:20] I mean, you may never listen to another podcast, but I'm okay with that. Why? Because I'm looking for people that want to reframe how people see leadership. And women in sales don't say our team is a family or we're all just good friends like so many of you. Oh, my gosh. This whole, like, look at us girlfriends. We're having a great time. It's a girlfriend business. And I'm just telling you, that sentence loses every serious professional woman immediately. She's not looking for a family. She's actually not even looking for new friends, y'. All. She's looking to be on a team that performs. This is just so amazing. I've said this before. If everything's amazing, nothing is amazing.
[00:35:06] Enthusiasm without substance just reeks hype. Say what's actually true instead. And by the way, this is amazing is lazy. There, I said it. Don't be lazy, because she's not going to join a lazy leader.
[00:35:21] Language, y'. All. Language is your environment.
[00:35:25] So I know you don't have a storefront, but your language and how you show up, that's the environment.
[00:35:32] Every single word is a signal to the person that you're trying to attract into your business.
[00:35:38] And the signal is always answering the question that she is asking herself. Is this designed for someone like me?
[00:35:48] Am I going to have to shrink myself? Am I going to have to be something I'm not?
[00:35:54] She's asking those questions. Is this me? Signal number four is something we call mirror moments. I said it earlier that a mirror moment is actually not a testimonial. It's not a before and after. It's not a screenshot of a result. A mirror moment is when she sees herself in the future she hasn't lived yet.
[00:36:18] Not what she'll have, not who she'll be, but it's a specific moment after everything changes. And you need to have mirror moments in two specific places in your business.
[00:36:34] First of all, in your content.
[00:36:36] When you're writing a caption, writing a story, putting together a post, you're not describing an outcome. You would do better by building a scene that she literally can step into and go, oh, yeah, that. That's what I'm looking for. And it sounds like this.
[00:36:54] You stop mid caption, and you realize you haven't once thought about whether it sounds salesy because now you've learned to caption in a way that just sounds like you, right? That's the moment after she learned how to be salesy.
[00:37:10] You get a DM from someone who found you.
[00:37:13] She didn't reach out.
[00:37:14] You didn't reach out to her. She came to you. You attracted her. And the conversation feels nothing like selling because she already knows she wants it.
[00:37:26] This is the exact moment after someone has learned how to attract the right people, use the right signals. This is the moment that she's like, ah, eureka, don't make me sing.
[00:37:39] All right, you have a team call this week, and you didn't have to chase anyone to show up. They come because the call is worth coming to.
[00:37:48] We're putting an exact moment out there in the future when the problem is solved that she wants to experience.
[00:37:57] It's the moment where the veil goes on, and you're like, oh, my gosh, I'm a princess.
[00:38:03] It's the moment that she shows up for that call and thinks, oh, my gosh, I'm actually the leader I knew I could be.
[00:38:14] Those are the mirror moments. She can see herself there. She can feel it before she believes it, and then she feels it before she decides anything. And that memory she hasn't made yet.
[00:38:27] That's what makes her move.
[00:38:31] So as you can see, hopefully by now, it's not about the information.
[00:38:34] It's so much easier than that.
[00:38:38] It takes intention. And this is the mistake that most women make is they describe the doing. They describe the result, right? They say, you could make X. You could rank this. You could have time, freedom. Those are all outcomes, y'. All. And where do outcomes land in the rational brain? The rational brain does rational things like price check. The rational brain compares. The rational brain says, let me think about it.
[00:39:06] Those mirror moments, they bypass all of that because they go straight to feelings, and feelings make decisions. The second place mirror moments need to live is in your conversations, in a dm, on a discovery call, in your opportunity presentation, in the moment where she's almost there but hasn't said yes yet.
[00:39:27] So here's what it sounds like. You do the presentation, and you say six months from now, when you get on a call with someone who found you and you're not rehearsing while she talks, you already know before she finishes her sentence whether it's for her.
[00:39:43] And when you hang up, you realized you were never once even selling.
[00:39:49] That's the mirror moment that she wants to experience.
[00:39:52] You're not telling her what she's going to earn or the title she's going to be at. You're putting her inside the moment after she's already become the woman she's trying to become.
[00:40:02] And her body responds. Her body says yes before her brain can start the calculations.
[00:40:09] That's the robe.
[00:40:11] That's the robe in words. The leaders, I advise, who learn to do this in their content, in their conversations, they stop talking about convincing people, and they start talking about people convincing themselves, because that's what's actually happening. You're not closing her. You're giving her a clear enough picture of who she's becoming that she closes herself.
[00:40:35] Everything we've talked about, the environment, the language, the mirror moments, none of this is tactical.
[00:40:42] It's a decision that you make. This is why I continue to say, you don't need another script. You do not need another tactic. You do not need more bro hype.
[00:40:56] The decision you need to make is about what it feels like to be in your world, working with you, working alongside of you. What does it feel like to talk to you? What does it feel like to read your content, to sit in your community, in your meetings, on your calls, to be a part of your leadership team.
[00:41:16] Most leaders have never consciously been taught to make that decision because the training book is so outdated. They inherited a culture. This MLM culture, this hype culture, this BRO sales culture, this copy and paste culture, and they started operating inside of it. And, yeah, for a minute or two, it worked. But then you figured out it doesn't feel like me. Nobody teaches you to sit down and decide what it feels like to be inside of your world.
[00:41:47] The decision is yours to make right now, like, on purpose. This is intentional selling. And I'm going to give you three questions to audit where you are. First, if a professional woman with real options walked into your world today, into your dms, into your content, into your team meetings, what would it feel like? Would she feel like she belongs? Or would she feel like she'd have to become a different version of herself to fit in?
[00:42:12] Second, would you be proud to show this to someone else?
[00:42:17] If she screenshotted your last message with her, your last post, your last team call, would she feel proud or would she feel embarrassed?
[00:42:26] Pride is the signal we're looking for.
[00:42:29] Pride says, this is consistent with who I'm becoming.
[00:42:33] Third, what is your robe? What's the first thing that happens when someone enters your world that says, this is different from everything I've seen before.
[00:42:43] It doesn't have to be big, y'. All. The robe was like a small component, but it was a huge gesture and it changed how everything was viewed after.
[00:42:56] For some of you, the robe is the way you open a dm. For some of you, it's the tone of your content. For some of you, it's how you celebrate publicly. Whether you celebrate rank advancements or whether you celebrate the woman who finally had a confident conversation, whether you celebrate the woman who stops chasing and starts leading, what you celebrate publicly tells the world who this is for. My daughter didn't decide in that dressing room, y'. All. She decided when they handed her that robe. She decided before she tried on a single thing, before anyone said a word about the price, y'. All.
[00:43:42] Sales are made in the environment.
[00:43:45] Your environment is your content. It's your conversation. It's the words you use.
[00:43:51] But someone who decided long before my daughter walked through that door took the time to be intentional about what it was going to feel like to be a bride in their space.
[00:44:05] You need to do that. You need to decide for your customers and for your team, for. For the women that are going to find you and decide in the first 30 seconds whether this is something for them.
[00:44:16] Make that decision.
[00:44:18] Build the room, hand them the robe. If this episode did what I intended it to do, if something landed today that made you look at your business differently or the language that you use differently at the experience that you're creating for your customers or not creating for your customers, I want to tell you about the sales Confidence Studio.
[00:44:42] This isn't a pump up space. This isn't team T shirts. It's not flowery notebooks. This is business conversations for growth and authenticity. We don't do calls to keep people motivated.
[00:44:58] This is a business development space built for women who are done operating inside of a culture they inherited that doesn't feel like them and also doesn't produce long term results.
[00:45:09] This is for women who are ready to deliberate decisions about what their business looks like, sounds like, and feels like so that it aligns with who they know that they are.
[00:45:19] The women inside of the studio are building organizations they're proud to put their names on.
[00:45:24] They're having conversations that feel nothing like selling, and they're leading teams that show up because the environment is worth showing up for.
[00:45:34] If that's the level that you're ready to operate with. I have two links for you in the show notes. The first link is to the weekly newsletter. You definitely want to get the shift where we cover one new strategy every week to help you create the business of authenticity that you want to show up for. And secondly, I put a booking link in there. I do free consultations for women to talk through where they are, how this could or maybe isn't a fit for you, and you'll leave with a great sense of what systems you need to implement in your business. If you decide you'd like to take a step forward, you can do that too. But that link is in the show notes as well.
[00:46:18] If you're new here, I'm Jen Viv Scori, founder of the Sales Confidence Studio. I'm a former C Suite executive of a $500 million brand who taught tens of thousands of women over my career how to have authentic businesses that feel like themselves, and in particular, how to sell without the hype, the spam, or the craziness.
[00:46:41] This is Sales Confidence. Fix this. Grow fast and I'm glad you're here. Until next time, build intentionally build authentically and you'll have an impact business for generations to come.
