Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] I hate having to make first contact. Well, I used to anyway, when I was struggling in sales. I hated making those first contacts. And I would talk fast, my palms would get so sweaty and. And I like, oh my gosh. I remember thinking like, please don't let that happen. Have you ever had like that voice throat close thing happen? Oh my gosh. I would just hope that no one heard that hard swallow. But it was part of my job and I couldn't figure out why. I hated reaching out. And in many cases I was reaching out knowing that they actually needed my help, which I know that you can relate to. But I realized really quickly it wasn't so much a fear of reaching out that was a problem. It was a fear of reaching out and sounding like that girl.
[00:00:55] And I will tell you, nothing felt better to me me than figuring out the Okane method and figuring out that if I could talk to people in a way that created safety and fun, it was not only powerful for me, but it created connection and it made the whole thing so much more enjoyable, even if they didn't buy.
[00:01:21] But it really clicked for me when I started using Okane and I got those openers down so well. Now, if you're new to this podcast, you gotta go back back two episodes and listen. And the last episode was specifically just on the O and ok.
[00:01:38] But I got to a point where I worked that O so well. My openers were so good. I wasn't getting ghosted. I was starting starting conversation here, starting conversation here. I knew I could see a trigger moment and I could start a conversation. It didn't matter where we were or what was going on. I felt really great about that. But I still wasn't closing sales. And the reason was because I hadn't really gotten to the C, which is the clarity part. So if O is what creates that opener, which, by the way, just a little recap has everything to do with why you and why now, as in the prospect or the person I'm reaching out to, your opener should very clearly tell them why you why now.
[00:02:23] The second part, the clarity part, is what really sets you free.
[00:02:29] Here's what worked for me in the clarity moment, when I could reach back as a human and circle back around to the context and ask some clarifying question that that is where confidence showed up for me and where it will show up for you, too.
[00:02:49] Today, I'm sharing the exact framework and questions and tone tweaks that I use to create human, human touches, to not sound like a robot, to sell without feeling Pushy or spammy. And even when there isn't a sale at the end of the conversation, have a lot of fun and create impact doing it. So if that lands for you, keep me in your ears and take this journey with me because I'll prove to you that you can absolutely learn how to sell without being pushy. And we are in the middle of a SaaS series selling authentically.
[00:03:28] The Sales Authentic sales system. Man, we are digging in here and getting super sassy and I'm breaking down how to sell like you without feeling pushy, spammy or salesy using this five part framework where you can take any script or start any script and modify it to make it sound like you. So before you go back and listen, I'll give you a quick recap. The O stands for in the last episode, the O stands for opener. Your opener has a job and the job of the opener is to create context. And that context comes from a trigger moment that you have seen or heard. So you're not just randomly texting people. There's a reason I'm texting you. There's a reason I'm DMing you. There's a reason I'm talking to you about it. We have both seen or heard something that you originated that that allows me to have this conversation.
[00:04:26] Chef's Kiss. It is about context and it's about warmth and permission and it has a little micro purpose all wrapped into it. Go back and listen to the last episode for more detail on that. But clarity is where we circle back and make it about them. We kind of mirror what they say using their terms.
[00:04:48] We have more questions about the meaning of what they said, what they were getting at. And then we add a little micro question for that extra clarity. And I will get more into that. And I do this because I really believe permission is not earned by volume or hype or trickery. It's earned by clarity. And when you have permission based selling, it is authentic. It leaves you in a place where you feel good having the conversation.
[00:05:22] And when you feel good starting conversations, you will have more success because the more conversations you start, the more conversations close in a sale for you.
[00:05:35] So here's why the C dissolves the pushy and why I treat it like it's gold.
[00:05:43] Because there's only really two reasons that things sound pushy for people and they have more to do with you making it about you. And how does that show up?
[00:05:54] Well, if you aren't specific, if you aren't being personal in your reach out, that's like mistake number one.
[00:06:03] Number two I found is that when I am not only not personal, but when I ask too much too soon. So in other words, when it's not personal and the ask in the opening conversation, hear me when I say in the opening conversation is to big, that's where things go off the rail. And there are so many people that start with good intention.
[00:06:31] You think what I'm going to do is just text people and get people to buy from me. And that's really not how it works. So if you can flip to clarity, if you can talk and get in this mindset of. My job is to create safety while having a discovery conversation. My job is to start safe conversations. I want you to say that with me. Start safe conversations. Start safe conversations. If you can actually start three safe conversations every day that you're working, in about 90 days, you will have more sales than you know what to do with.
[00:07:10] And it sounds great in theory, but I want to actually put it into action for you so that you know how to leverage this getting right off of this podcast.
[00:07:22] So I found that it's really helpful to understand why. I always wanted to know, why does that work? Why does that make a difference? And when you ask clarifying questions, really what you're embracing is that it is your job. In other words, you own.
[00:07:44] You own the safety of the conversation.
[00:07:48] You own the safety of the conversation. And if you have a safe conversation and big and. And you can make it super obvious to them that doing the deal with you is the clear choice, you are going to win so many more opportunities.
[00:08:13] And here's why.
[00:08:15] Because when you set up, when you clarify and you make it about them, and you do so in a way that you're reducing friction, also known as reducing obstacles, also known as eliminating objections. If you start to have those conversations first and you are creating safety, then when you get to the end of the conversation, they are making the decision logically. This makes the most sense to work with you. And that two chef's kiss in one podcast, that is a beautiful thing. So in the clarifying part of the Okane method, you want to learn how to ask these little questions without sounding like you're prying, because I have trained a lot of women before on selling, and when I get to asking the questions part, people, like, lose their minds. They start asking all the questions, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is like a whole rundown. That's not what we're talking about.
[00:09:21] We're talking about slowing down, getting to really Understand? And I know what happens is people just jump right out of the gate and they're like, you should buy from me, you should join my team, you should do what I'm doing. And it's kind of like, not yet, not yet, you gotta really slow down. So when you can finesse it, when you can learn how to ask those questions in a way that do not sound like you're prying or that you're rapid firing questions at people or that you're asking them things that might make them feel bad or guilty, listen, you're gonna do so much better. You're gonna love this whole thing. Again, I'm not kidding.
[00:10:02] Even when they don't buy. I remember standing up and training hundreds of women in a room and talking about how much I just en opener conversations because it's another opportunity to just make a friend. I like making friends. And I know that like I'm not in business to necessarily collect more friends, but like, I like making friends, I like connecting with people. And I fully believe that if we have a connection that even if you don't buy one, you know that it's safe to come back to me. So when you do need what I have, you'll come back to me. And two, you know that it's safe to refer to, it's safe to refer people to me. So when we talk about clarifying questions, what goes through my brain and the formula here is really, let's figure out what they really want.
[00:10:54] So I heard you say X the other night. Before I do my pitch, even if it's a micro pitch, even if it's a next step, I want to ask some clarifying questions without saying I want to ask some clarifying questions. But I want to know, like what, what are your outcomes? What do you really want out of this? What are potential constraints for you? I also want to know, is this a priority? Now as a type A person, I will tell you, is this a priority matters the most to me because if it is not a priority, I'm not going to spend a lot of time with you. I will keep tabs on you. We can be friends, I'll be social, all the things, but I am not going to spend an exorbitant amount of time trying to convince you to buy from me. Because if I have to convince you to buy from me, I got to convince you to use my product or service. I got to convince you to keep going. It's like it's a thing.
[00:11:54] So for me, for me personally, that's a Big button, maybe for you, you really want to focus on outcomes. You want to know like, what do you want from this? You know really what your customers struggle with.
[00:12:09] So if your customers struggle with price, if you get that objection a lot, you might want to focus on constraints. If you struggle with people not being clear about the results, you might want to focus on outcome.
[00:12:26] If you really want to cut to the chase like I do, I want to know, is this a priority for you? So this is what it looks like, an exact wording that you are going to take and switch up to make it sound more like you. And that is why your sales DNA guide is so important.
[00:12:48] If you are new or you haven't downloaded your sales DNA guide, do that. It's a 10 minute assessment to tell you what your unique characteristics are, what your favorite ways to talk are, the things that you should lean into that you are going to thread all through your conversations. I'll leave that in the show notes. But okay, let's say I'm focusing on outcome. We're focusing on outcome.
[00:13:13] The exact wording could be as simple as. What's a clear 90 day win for you here?
[00:13:20] Huh?
[00:13:21] Super simple, right? It really is. So I don't know why people make this so complicated. It's like I, I heard you say this.
[00:13:33] What would a clear 90 day win look like? Do you see how simple that is? Like you said this, you commented this, this happened. I saw you crying.
[00:13:45] I happened to notice that, you know, you have your head in your hands like you got crazy, something going on, right? What they're demonstrating to you, they need your help.
[00:13:58] The clarity component is like a life preserver. It's kind of like, woo, I'm gonna, I'm gonna toss this out and see if you're gonna grab onto it. So I see you waving for help. Help me, help me. I'm gonna throw out the little life preserver. That's clarity. So What's a clear 90 day win for you? And by the way, yes, you can change it up. It can be any amount of be any outcome whatsoever. So I want you to think about the product or service that you offer and I want you to think about what could potential outcomes be. You're just going to use a couple of them all the time.
[00:14:36] All the time. Maybe you want to focus in on the constraints. I love this one too. Especially for like health and wellness or even like creating income. What did you try before what derailed it?
[00:14:51] Was it not enough time?
[00:14:53] Was it the budget? Like it ended up costing too much Like, I literally, the other day was looking at someone on threads, and I quote, I'm thinking about getting into XYZ business.
[00:15:05] Here are my concerns. I'm concerned it's going to cost me more money to stay in than I'm actually going to make. And I thought, well, that's a clear constraint.
[00:15:16] You're picking up what I'm laying down. But if you don't ask those questions, you don't know until when, until the end, until you've spent all this time talking to them, getting your hopes up that they're gonna purchase, only to find out that they already have big losses on the money thing. And we haven't addressed those.
[00:15:36] Maybe it's. They have a crazy mindset. I mean, mindset does come into play. Like, I just don't believe I can lose weight. I just don't believe I can create income. I just don't believe. Whatever. I don't believe I could be as good as you. All of those things are like mindsets and. And you need to understand those and have conversations and work through those.
[00:15:58] But priority is my favorite because I really want to know, where are we going? Are we just dating? Are we like, is, are we moving this thing along? And so some priority verbiage can look like, is this a front burner now thing? Or is this a better to revisit later thing?
[00:16:19] So easy, right? You can tell them either one works. Either one works. Because truly either one does work. And truly that doesn't. Even if they say, eh, it's a back burner kind of thing, that doesn't actually mean that it actually is a back burner thing, but it gives you a sense of where they are from a priority standpoint. You might ask on a timeline, where does this sit now?
[00:16:44] Soon, later, where does that sit? Easy peasy. You could say on a quick scale, is this urgent or can this wait?
[00:16:54] What's your best move here? Is it to take a small step or park it for a bit?
[00:17:02] I love these. They're so simple. And when you say them over and over and over again, they just roll off your tongue. Because you're gonna find the ones that sound like you. And I know as I'm saying them, you're either like, yay or like, so that's okay. That's a great indicator for you.
[00:17:25] And the next part of this is it's tone. It's 100% tone.
[00:17:30] Even if you're an introvert, tone matters. And I have to tell you, introverts, the one thing I love about the okay. Method is that even if you are an introvert, you get to be like an introvert. You get to be the introvert you are. You don't have to be an extrovert, you don't have to be funny, you don't have to be outgoing. You just need to be you. If you're calm and you're steady and you have one of those voices that people can listen to for hours, you get to lean into that because that's what people like the most about you.
[00:18:06] So when we talk about tone, there are people that have a really friendly tone. There are people that are steady and they're calm and they're confident. And then there are the fast talkers, they're the drivers and the fast talkers, and they want decisions. And then there are people that are very relational and they want to create impact. All of those things have a particular tone. For example, if you're relational, you're going to be super warm. You're going to be values based. You're going to lead with care.
[00:18:37] Okay, do that.
[00:18:39] Totally cool.
[00:18:41] If you're more skeptical or you're more analytical, you're going to be kind of neutral and measured and you're going to talk about things in steps.
[00:18:52] Perfect.
[00:18:53] If you're a driver, you're going to talk fast, you're going to want results, you're going to lean with results and action.
[00:19:01] And for an introvert or someone who's super steady, you're going to talk in a more calm way, like you're. You're a breath of fresh air to people. You really are are. Because not everybody likes this energy.
[00:19:13] So that's great. There's a whole pool of people out there that want to hear quick one breath. Lines that are calm, that are calm. So anyone can play in sales. You just have to embrace who you are. So let's quickly create some makeovers here for some specific instances so that you can see how this works.
[00:19:41] Let's say someone talked to you and told you that they're feeling kind of emotionally down. So maybe they're struggling emotionally.
[00:19:49] You want to help them. Now, even if you're listening, I want you to play along because you know how to make this work, regardless of if you sell something that can help them or not. So I tell you, I don't know, I'm feeling really down, or I get on a story and I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is like the third day in a row that I can't seem to get out of bed.
[00:20:08] Right. So you might Say, I saw your story about feeling off.
[00:20:17] You might say, I saw your story about taken to the bed.
[00:20:22] That's my new favorite line. Okay, you're gonna make it. You. This is where you're using your sales DNA. If I were calling someone, I'd be like, girl, what is happening? I saw that thing about you and the bed and like, what is going on? I feel for you. That would be me.
[00:20:42] But you are. You might be really calm and collected. You might say something like, hey, I saw your story about feeling off.
[00:20:50] Thanks for saying that with your out loud voice. Thanks for being authentic.
[00:20:56] Okay, this is what, this is what I want you to know.
[00:21:00] You use the script, you don't be the script. So the script says, hey, what we're going to do is we're going to mention the thing that's the trigger event. So that's the opener.
[00:21:12] Make it yours. Totally. Okay, now as far as clarity is concerned, this is where we're going to circle back around and get in touch with that person and what's really going on. So I might say something like, from what it sounds like, nights are really hard for you.
[00:21:36] Right? That could be the first next line. Right? Then it can go into. When you've tried stuff in the past, where does it seem to go off the rails?
[00:21:48] I love this. I'm not kidding. This changed everything for me. And when I would teach people how to do scripts, I used to just tell them the scripts and I never quite had enough time to teach them how to. This is the entire framework and this is how you do it because we just always had such a limited amount of time. But I really have come to understand the value of threading you in here because people buy from you because of who you are. So you've got to show up as you while you're asking these questions. So let me ask you this question.
[00:22:27] If your friend said that she was struggling emotionally and you called back to it, what clarifying question would you want to know? Would it be constraints? Would it be outcomes? Would it be a priority? You tell me. You get to choose. There is no wrong answer. You just take that next step.
[00:22:47] You might ask things like, so in the past, when you've tried to address this, tell me what didn't work? Was that you tried things that had too many steps, were they too expensive? Like, where did you go? What happened?
[00:23:03] Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
[00:23:05] Then of course, the rest of the script also comes into play. And by the way, there's some back and forth here. So it's not like, oh, boop, boop. Just keep firing these things off.
[00:23:16] The next part of the okane is something like an invitation and like alignment. And it's kind of like, hey, if I send you a quick video on why you might be feeling the way you feel, do you want it? Is that helpful? Or do you want to skip?
[00:23:35] Is it helpful? Do you want to skip?
[00:23:38] I like, what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts about watching it? But I especially love the whole point here is I'm going to let you off the hook.
[00:23:47] If this doesn't work for you, I'm letting you off the hook and we're going to circle back to why.
[00:23:52] Because it's my job to make the conversation safe enough so that she always wants to have another conversation with me when she's ready.
[00:24:03] Now, if you're an introvert, it could look a little different. It could be a lot shorter. It could be like, hey, caught Tuesday's note about being tapped by like 6pm I've been there. That's like me.
[00:24:18] So what tends to get in the way of potential fixes?
[00:24:22] It's. It's literally that simple, y'. All. It's literally that simple. And then following up with happy to share this too many two minute ritual that I do that made a huge difference for me.
[00:24:34] Next.
[00:24:36] If you're a driver, you're going to be more direct.
[00:24:39] Like, I definitely. I know you'll be surprised to know that I can be a driver. I. And depending on who I'm talking to, I drive harder or less. Like, I, I straddle some of these differently, depending on who I'm talking to, which you will learn how to do as you get better.
[00:24:54] But like, I might call a friend and be like, hey, what's this I hear about you being in bed all day?
[00:25:02] What's happening? What have you tried? What? Why isn't it working? Let's break this down.
[00:25:08] Okay? I've got this two minute ritual that I use for this exact thing. Want it or no you do though. Like, I would probably say, you say yes, because that's, that's how I roll. But you get to be you. That's what's so beautiful about this. Let's say you're a realtor and you happen to see somebody relocating across town and you don't know how to reach out. You're going to use the okay method, right? The opener. Hey, saw that you're moving to the north side.
[00:25:41] Saw you're moving on up.
[00:25:44] Fresh, fresh start, fresh neighborhood. Love that for you.
[00:25:50] Okay. From your update, however, I'm wondering what's your biggest headache with this? Because maybe she mentioned she's moving and she's super frustrated. Like I'm moving and I'm panicked.
[00:26:02] Great.
[00:26:03] It could just be that you're moving, that's okay. But in this case, maybe it's a moving and you're panicked. So what's the biggest headache for you? Is it finding new schools? Is it a new, good new neighborhood, Best locale? What. What's the deal there? Right? Because I have a two minute checklist. I've got a one page checklist that my clients love.
[00:26:25] Can I send that to you or are you good?
[00:26:28] You guys, tell me, tell me in the comments. Tell me if you can do this. I know you can because I know this does not, does not sound pushy. Let's say one last one, that you offer a opportunity to help people create businesses. Like it's a lot of people right now, whether you're a coach or a digital marketer, or you're a network marketing and you're looking out there at a whole bunch of people right now who need a whole lot of money. You don't know how to have that conversation. Somebody's online, someone's bowling, someone's, you know, at school drop off, talking about how she might have to go back to work or how she needs extra money, whatever it is.
[00:27:15] So again, using the okay method, I'm going to circle back to the context. I want them to know exactly why I'm reaching out. The other day when we were standing in line at the, like at the bus stop and you mentioned having to go back to work, I remember how that feels. Right.
[00:27:33] That's how I would say it because I do remember how that feels. You might say something completely different. I heard you talking about going back to needing to potentially go back to work. That tugs at my heartstrings.
[00:27:49] What are you thinking about?
[00:27:50] What have you tried before that doesn't involve going back to work?
[00:27:55] What worked, what didn't work, what's getting in the way? See, you're. You're really like putting something out there. Like, I'm assuming you want to do something about this. Where did it go off the rails in the past?
[00:28:07] Now again, it is not only for their benefit because we are talking about who them, but it's also for your benefit so that you know how to best help them and you also know how to deal with any potential objections that they might be having by cutting those off right away.
[00:28:26] So again, using the okay method somewhere along the line, we get to a point where I'm like, hey, I got this two minute video and if you watch it, you can decide for yourself. But it changed so many people's lives that I know didn't go back to work. Or you could say, I have a friend, literally just started this, I sent this video, she's already making money.
[00:28:48] Is this something that is super hot for you or is this something that is you're going to kick the can down the road? Like, you just need to know that you're there to keep it safe.
[00:29:01] But to move the conversation forward.
[00:29:05] Now if you're in a buying, I'm going to give you just a couple of tools here that you can always have in your tool belt that you can use whenever you're like, I don't know what to say next. I don't know what to say next. I don't know how to get from the opener because we still have more to go here in the series, but I don't want you to be stuck here. So I want you to know here's some phrases that you're going to put in your back pocket and you're going to find the one or two that totally feel like you. So if you're looking to, and you are, offer advice and assistance and not lecture, not that I have ever been caught lecturing. I lecture all the time. Listen, if you've ever listened to something and you're like, man, that sounded like a lecture, just know I dialed it down.
[00:29:52] Just, I, I dialed it down. Okay, so here's some phrases for you. 1. 1, are you open to. Are you open to. Are you open to hearing about it? Are you open to checking it out? Are you open to having lunch? Are you open to a phone call? Are you open to coming with me? Are you open to giving it a try? Are you open? Just are you open? I'm not actually asking you to make a huge commitment.
[00:30:18] I am just asking you if you are open to solving your own problem. Along with my help. You might ask, can we hop on a call?
[00:30:26] Easy peasy. You can say, I can send you a two minute voice note that explains everything really clearly.
[00:30:33] Is it worth hearing about it or do you want to pass? And I love the idea of sending a voice note, by the way, because one, that's one, because one, they get to hear it in your tone, which you're gonna get really good at your own tone.
[00:30:47] And two, they get to do it without you, like watching them. Sometimes they feel a little pressure and if you're like, hey, I'll send you a voice note. You can listen to it on your own, but it's literally like two minutes. Yes or no, pass, whatever. I'm good either way, right? And here's the thing as well. And I will get back to these little phrases.
[00:31:09] The key here is you. I'm trying to teach you how I created safety.
[00:31:17] Having three starting three conversations a day.
[00:31:23] I just would start three conversations. I had no expectations.
[00:31:27] I literally just started three conversations a day. If you can get to a place and you can where you can start three conversations a day, that is the winning formula. Not every day. The days that you're working, if you're starting three conversations a day, you'll never feel desperate. You'll never feel like that person has to say yes. Because if you do it for 90 days, you're going to have a whole plethora of people that you started conversations with. And some of them are circling back around and a good number of them are closing and you're going to feel good. But the key here is the motor of this whole thing. The engine that drives results is you getting comfortable enough to start, not get sales. Start three new conversations every single day. Okay, so back to some of the verbiage here. Can we hop on a call? I can send you a quick two minute voice note. I can send you a quick two minute video.
[00:32:25] How about this? I can help.
[00:32:29] I can help with.
[00:32:30] I can help you with whatever. I can help. I can help you this way. I can help you with. You can even say things like, like, you know what the constraints are. So if evenings are sacred to you because that person has told you, like, family first, or like, I can't do evenings. If evenings are sacred to you, I can keep the plan inside of school hours.
[00:32:51] If evenings are sacred to you, I can make sure that you never have to sacrifice time in the evening with your children.
[00:32:57] If evenings are sacred to you, I can put something together where you're never going to have to miss bedtime. So I can help you make sure that you never miss an evening with your kiddos. If you can make that promise, do it if that's important to them.
[00:33:16] And I do these things to ensure that people feel super crazy heard. And at the very least, I feel good starting three conversations every day. And they feel good either taking a next step with me or feeling safe in referring back to me or feeling safe in coming back to me if and when they can use my product or service.
[00:33:43] So your homework is going to be very clear. You are going to identify now, today. Yes. Oh, yes. One trigger.
[00:33:53] I know you have them. I know you do. Identify one trigger that you've seen or heard and then write an opening line for you mirroring that exact thing that they said and create warmth. And then I want you to think through what's your next play? Is it gonna be. I need to check their priority here. I need to find out what their constraints are. I need to know what their outcomes are. If you just practice those two things this week, you are gonna get. You might even close stuff and not even know how it happened because you've created so much safety. I wanna remind you that confidence comes from being authentic and feeling good in the moment that you are sharing with people. It doesn't come from hype. It doesn't come from canned scripts that don't sound like you. It comes from a grounded, safe approach and that you enjoy doing every single day. I mentioned in this podcast the sales DNA guide. I'm going to put the link in the show notes in the show notes so that you can go and figure out in 10 minutes. In 10 minutes you will figure out what are your unique characteristics that make buying from you something that other people cannot compete with. If you've already downloaded that and you are not a part of my newsletter. The shift. You're missing out. You're just missing out because in the shift we tackle one shift, one tiny shift you need to make one shift every week that'll fundamentally give you a sassy life. You know, savvy, authentic, real and not weird. Thanks for being here. I look forward to talking to you next time. And oh, don't forget to subscribe and leave a comment.
[00:35:45] Leave the comments and score it. Rate it. All the things. Thanks everybody.
